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Monday, January 28, 2008

Lessons from the road

I have been a regular driver for the last couple of years. I remember last year when Sh. Ibn Adam came to Toronto, he said one one the ways you can find out about a prospective spouse is by the way he/she drives. That struck real cord with me because I notice how driving has so many similarities with our real life interactions with our surroundings...

A few observtions listed below:


1. Follow leaders carefully

The people we follow on the highway makes a special difference on a long journey. I for example don't like to follow cars which break often for no reason or if it appears that the car is being driven by a distracted driver ( cell phone?). On the other hand if I see a car which is driving at a reasonable speed ( for the conditions, traffic etc), I will follow it.

Choose who you follow carefully!



2. Sudden lane change

Your driving on the highway and the guy on your right swerves to your lane without warning almost taking you out in the process. He had given no indicator. That was so inconsiderate and uncommunicative on his part.

IN real life we often make decisions which can affect other people. It is good to consider that those decisions will affect other people so one should communicate with them properly as to what your doing.



3. People can change

The same car that cut you off could be the same person who would let you pass when you had to take a left turn on a busy road and no one was letting you through.

Some people might make mistakes but do not make firm opinions on them based on the mistakes they made that day. Instead focus on the action and be open to the fact that the mistake was a one timer and there may have been one off circumstances that lead to the mistake.

.
4 What goes around comes around...


You want to take a left turn on a busy road. Some kind man or woman in the oncoming lane lets your pass just when it seemed like you were going to be stuck there forever. In the same situation would you have let someone else pass and take a left turn when you were in the oncoming lane?

Treat others as you like to be treated!

5. Don't look too far ahead but dont look too short either

When driving do you just look at the road immediately in front of you (less than 15 meters) or do you look a 100 meters ahead? You have to be doing both.

There is balance on long term and short term outlook. You cant have without the other.

6.Check who is behind you

Someone may be following you too closely and when you break they may get harmed.

In real life you may have a lot of people looking up to you but if you feel they may harm themselves by following you then kindly let them pass so they can follow more deserving leaders.

7. Check your blind spot


Always check your blind spot. You don't know who might hit you from where you did not intend.

In life people might harm us from angles we did not expect. We should be vary.

8. Expect people to understand but you wont understand

You have to get to somewhere and you are running late. You drive in a rash way since you are the one who is most important and everyone else should understand.

Would you harm others to achieve your selfish goals?


9.Dont just go on looks

The cars we see on the road are great. But how many times have we seen a beautiful car being driven rashly.

Let not the outward appearance of a car affect you. Its how the driver drives (i.e. the inside ) which should affect you not what is apparent outside. The outward beauty will also eventually include the driver's driving skills.

10. You might do everything right but other person might be wrong and hit you.


You see a green light and go though it when someone comes and T bones you ( they crossed a red light). You could not have really done much since you did nothing wrong yet you get hit.

As part of a Muslim's central beliefs he knows that what hit could not have missed and what missed could not have hit

11. Focus on all other's follies


We like to focus on other people's follies. How did that driver just did this. If we get obsessed with little faults then it is hard to focus on our own driving. We have faults too and mistakes as well.

If we want to be forgiven than forgive others!

12. Size does matter


I cut off a truck once. The way he honked at me after has stayed in my memory and never have I thought of cutting a truck off again. You dont want to come in the way of the big boys.

Watch out who you mess with!

13. Driving?

It all depends on where you drive. Some places are better to drive than others. You would not drive the same way in Pakistan as you would in Canada. You need to be aware of your surrounding culture of driving but you need to still avoid harming others.

Act according to your circumstances and surroundings while still doing the right thing.


14. Mentally elsewhere

If you are not mentally in your car then there is a bigger risk of accidents. Be careful with cell phones.

You have to be aware in real life of how your mental presence affects the sincerity in your actions.

15. Where are you going?

If your destination is X but you are going towards Y which is on the opposite directions. our actions and our destinations should match!

16. Companions on your journey

Good guides in your car help you keep on track. That means the firends we kee and the souses we marry.

17. Maintain it

Always try to maintain your car. Reflect and check on certain signs that your car might give your problems in th future.

Similarly you need to check on yourself and make sure your on the right track..

18. Accountability...police behind you

You start driving better when you see police around you. Do your actions improve when others are around you?

We should get rid of our contradictions and be in public as we are in private.


19. Every screw is important

You may take out one small screw in a car or disconnect one wire and the car might give all kinds of problems. Even small things in life can be important without us knowing. Same for people we work with and live with. There may be small things which they contribute to our lives and we re not aware of those till we lose them. Everyone around you is important.

20. Drive as per conditions

If it is dark at night you need your headlights on. If thee is snow on the road you need to drive slow. You have to tread according to th conditions around you. Some situations are easier than others.

21 Snow storm...

Sometimes in snow storms it might be advisable to stay at home.

Some situations its just better to stay at home

22. Sometimes more effort sometimes less based on slope

You need to adjust the amount of gas you pump based on the slope your driving in. Sometimes you might need to pump more gas on high slope and less gas on downward slope.

Depending on where you are will determine how hard you try.

23. Bike

I will digress from cars and talk about biking. I used to bike a lot back in the day. I recall it is always easier to do a hard slope over a short distance then an easy slope over a long distance.

IN real life its easier to out in a lot of effort in a short time but much harder to do a small consistent effort over a longer period of time.



24 . When to decide

If you are about to turn at an intersection and are watching out for oncoming traffic, the best time to make a decision ( on when you'll turn) is when your actually at the intersection. I have had a couple of near misses and both times I was silly to make up mind way in advance thinking that I will turn as soon as I get to the intersection.

You should see what the best time to make a decision is. You don't want to be too late and you dont want to be too early.



25. Who to communicate with

Three people are in a car going somewhere. Only one is driving. If Passenger A wants to go to the washroom he cannot ask Passenger B to stop the car because he is not driving the car. Passenger A has to talk to the driver.

Talk to the right person when you are communicating. i.e. the person who can actually do something about the situation.

Sunday, January 27, 2008

Imam Zaid: Hen and the Lamb

I was listening to a lecture by Imam Zaid today and he told this great story about differentiating commitment with contribution:

A hen and lamb were talking about what they were going to be involved in the breakfast that was coming up. The hen said that it would lay eggs and contribute them for breakfast. The lamb said it would commit itself by being a sausage.
That is: that the lamb was willing to sacrifice part of himself vs. the hen which was just going to lay eggs , so it takes more to commit then it takes to contribute to something.

Thursday, January 24, 2008

Cricket: Punjabee dubbing

For those that know Punjabee and cricket, a very funny punjabee dubbed video on former cricketer Ambrose.

Small decision? big impact?


I have been reflecting recently on the seemingly small decisions I have taken in life over the past few years and see so many small little decisions which may affect the rest of my life without me knowing that at the time of the decision.


Think about saying something to someone which you thought was insignificant but snowballed into something big ( negative or positive). Think about the time you decided to go to an event or a place which you thought would be a normal trip but that trip has changed your life. Think about filling out a form or writing an email/letter which you thought was a regular document but the results of which have left you astounded.

We make little decisons every day that can change our lives. Make sure you use the right means to think about what your doing and why, even if it takes a few seconds.

Inshahallah, we take the proper means in the right way with true intention and goals making dua along the way; and leave the results to Allah.

Ameen!

Punjabi Wise Saying 5

dud rakhee te billey noon nu biaaana
To ask the cat to look after the milk


You can never trust a cat to look after the milk. You need to watch who you trust and what the item, is that you trust them with.

I guess this can also be applied to having good company. You cannot have good people around but not benefit from their company and vice versa.

Sunday, January 20, 2008

Advice from Abd Al-Qadir Jilani

Abd Al-Qadir Jilani says:

O young man. If something belongs to you, it will not pass by you, nor will it be used up by anyone else. But if something belongs to someone other than you, it will never come to you, however much you may want it and desire to possess it. There is only yesterday , which is past and gone, today, where you are right now and tomorrow, which is yet to come. Your yesterday has become a lesson for you to apply today. As for tomorrow, its is unclear whether you will be there or not, since you have no way of knowing what tomorrow holds in store.

(23rd discourse, Abd Al-Qadir Jilani , Translated by Mukhtar Holland, Removal of Cares, p.130, Al-Baz Publishing; 1997)

Sunday, January 13, 2008

Abdul Hakim Murad: Contentions 12

Abdul Hakim Murad's new contentions are out. My favourites from this round of contentions....:
7. Is the Beast of Divorce coming? Husbands: respect her wants. Wives: respect his dignity.

15. The longer you wait to claim or forgo your rights, the longer you will wait for friendship.

18. Self-control makes you a fortress; self-indulgence makes you an animal, either a riding-beast or a target.

27. A busy life makes the Prayer harder; but the Prayer makes a busy life easier.

59. Dhikr and electricity are deadly rivals.

60. The wife’s vulnerability is not the husband’s strength.

61. You do not rise to Him. He does not descend to you. Rather, what you see, He may unveil as His alone.

63. Love learning, since learning leads to action.

64. Fiqh is the joyful focussing on the moment.

83. A politician deals with symptoms, a leader deals with causes.

84. Expect only a little. If you impose everything on everyone, you will drive everyone away from everything.

Friday, January 11, 2008

Good Character

Imam al Bayhaqi mentions in section on "Good Character" in the 77 branches of Faith ( abridged by Imam al Qazwini and translated by Abdul Hakim Murad):


."...When he deals with other people, he is tolerant when claiming what is his right, and does not ask for anything which is not; but he dischrges all duties that he hs towards others. When he falls ill or returns form a trip and no-one visits him, or when he gives a greeting which is not returned, or when he is a guest but is not honored, or intercedes but is not responded to, or does a good turn for which he is not thanked, or joins a group of people who do not make room for him to sit, or speaks and is not listened to, or asks permission of a friend to enter, and is not granted it, or proposes to a woman and is not allowed to marry her, or asks for more time to repay a debt, but is not given more time, or asks for it to be reduced , but is not permitted this, and all similar cases, he does not grow angry, or seek to punish people, or feel within himself that he has been snubbed or ignored, neither does he try to retaliate with the same treatment when able to do so, but instead tells himself that he does not mind any of these things, and responds to each of one of them with something, which is better and closer to goodness and piety, and is more praiseworthy and pleasing. He remembers to carry out this duties to theirs just as he remembers their duties towards himself, so that when of his Muslim brethren falls ills he visits him, if he is asked to intercede, he does so, if he is asked for a respite in repaying a debt he agrees,and if someone needs assistance he gives it, and if someone asks for a favorable terms in a sale, he consents, all without looking to see how the other person had dealt with him in the past, and to find out how other people behave. Instead he makes "what is better" the imam of his soul and obeys it completely."
How true is this quote....Many a times when we have a chance to do a favor upon someone our first instinct is that.." what about the time...he did this to me or she did that to me...".

May Allah give us the strength to follow what is said above!

Saturday, January 05, 2008

Back from the Pakistan: Quick reflections

Aslamaua alikaum,

Alhamdulillah. I am back from Pakistan...Fishing and family kept me busy over the last 2 weeks..so I was not able to post regularly while in Pakistan. Here are some quick notes/observations from my trip:

Politics: It is as active as it ever was on political scene.

Hope in leaders: Hope should be in Allah not in individual leaders. The leaders are limited means for change. The best agent for change is yourself.

Politics within homes: Too much involvement of women and minimal involvement of men in internal social dealings makes it imbalanced within homes,

Politics within communities: Women need to be more involved in mosques, charities, etc.

Marriages: The actual people getting married need to be more active in choosing their spouses.

Parenting: Kids should be delegated more responsibilities. There are many grown up babies in Pakistan.

Imams: Specially in Punjab the imams need to get more involved with communities outside the mosque.

Status: People who are well off need to stop doing things for the sake of doing them i.e. we should have "X" because they have "X".

Envy: The people who show off their wealth are creating envy within poor which is indirectly related to more bulgaries/thefts/hold offs.

Opportunity: The poor have little opportunity to move up the ladder economically.

Education: Starts at home-and should not be limited to schools. Education is merely academical.

Love: People should start loving for Allah's sake. ANd if they hate wrong things in society-they should hate the actions not the people who do the hated actions.

Institutions: Need more than the army.

Foreign cultures: Take the good from the foreign cultures while retaining the good in your own culture instead of doing the opposite.

Macdonald's: Please don't go there. Thank you. That goes for other foreign food chains as well. Support your local economy

Inferiority complex: Reading Malcom X biography these days. I actually think we have the black man inferiority complex ( which Malcom talked about) towards the west which is very unhealthy. We talk of success on their terms. Pakistan needs to define it's own agenda of success and be more independent- ecnomically, psychologically, etc.

PIA: is better airline now with better service. Food can be better but perhaps their food makes be appreciate better food even more so alhamdualillah for PIA food!

Aunty Network: Is strong with high speed connection specially with cell phones and cheaper phone rates.

Islam: should not be mutually exclusive form people's lives. Talk of islam should not be mutually exclusive from following it.

Canada: We in canada should be happy with all the blessings we have here. Many in Pakistan could only dream of these. That doesn't make us better then Pakistanis but actually this comfort is a test from God of how we use our comfort for the less fortunate everywhere.

Okay: Those were my thoughts on Pakistan...