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Sunday, September 30, 2007

Can you read my body langauge?

Body Language: This was a term I heard growing up when I was watching cricket. A lot of times this commentator Ravi Shastri would comment on teams' body languages depending on how they were doing in the game. And at most times it would be reflective of their performance.

However body language (in my view) goes beyond cricket or sports in general. I think our whole lives are littered with body language. For example, if you talk to people in "Human Resources or Development", they will tell you that one of the things they observe during interviews is body language used by the interviewee which (in most cases according to them) indicates the interest a person has in the job, or if he/she actually is saying the truth and so on.

Changingminds.org has some interesting thoughts on body language. It describes non verbal commmunication as:

The communication without words. The face is used a great deal. Hand signals, shrugs, head movements, etc. also are used. It is often subconscious. It can be used for:

  • Expressing emotion (e.g. smiling to show happiness)
  • Conveying attitudes (e.g. staring to show aggression)
  • Demonstrating personality traits (e.g. open palms to show accepting qualities)
  • Supporting verbal communication

It also says that different cultures have different body languages:

Non-verbal behavior also varies across cultures (such as the ‘ok’ finger O), although the six major emotions (anger, fear, disgust, sadness, happiness and surprise) are common across the world.


If you have watched the football world cup, I am sure you have seen the Italians use hands to talk as this article confirm:

Walk down the street of any Italian town today and you might think you've wandered onto the set of a Fellini movie. People everywhere seem to be mumbling to themselves while gesticulating wildly. If you get closer to them, though, you'll notice that they're punctuating a conversation on their telefonini with hand gestures. Mobile telephones are ubiquitous in Italy today, and all those animated discussions are proof positive that Italians express themselves with their hands even while speaking on the phone.
further one of the best football refrees of all times Pierluigi Collina says:

Whilst renowned for his ability to stare down even the games most aggressive exponents, Collina explained that his ability to deflate tense situations with a smile was equally important:

"I only ever had a few seconds to resolve a situation and therefore using the right body language was essential. You just have to use the appropriate behaviour for the moment – it could be a smile, or I could be much firmer, depending on the situation."


Back to changingminds.org which states:

Try the difference between listening to someone with your eyes closed and listening/watching with your eyes open. It is much easier to understand when you are watching them.


This is why I think emails/MSN/social networking sites are handicapped when it comes to communications. While emitcons are great, they are still very limited in how much they indicate. it is much harder to fake a smile in person then it is to type "colon" and a "bracket" .

: ) ( typing that was so easy!)

Having said that, I think emails/msn/social networking sites can be a secondary tool to facilitate relationships depending on who the user/s are. I must say some people are better at it then others.

Phones are slightly better given that you can actually judge more from the tone of a voice but it is still nothing like a face to face meeting. I actually think women are much better at "phone communication" then men are which is probably why most of my friends tell me that they have longer conversations with their moms then dads on the phone ( mind you dads may be quieter in person as well but this phenomena magnifies on the phone).

As a Muslim, I look for guidance towards the Prophet Muhammad ( Peace be Upon Him) and lo behold I find this:

Abu Hurayra said, "When he faced someone, he faced him completely. When he turned away, he turned away completely. I have never seen anyone like him and I will never see anyone like them."
The last thing you want to do is to be looking the other way from the person you are talking to.

and again from the sunnah:

Jarir said, "Since the time I became Muslim, the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, never saw me without smiling at me." The Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, "A man from the best of Dhu Yaman will enter by this door whose face has been touched by an angel." Then Jarir came in.

I personally find people who smile at me more approachable then those who are stern faced. I also find smiling at people makes me more approachable for other people.

The masters of body language whom I know generally tend to follow both of the above prophetic practices Also the best body languagers know how to indicate that they are in a rush (i.e. looking at a watch) or turning their legs away from you when they are sitting). Other examples would be people walking fast and talking in a rush when they are in a hurry.

Then you get people who are terrible at reading body language. No matter how much you indicate to them ( non verbally) that you are out of time or in a rush, they will keep talking. Thats when you use verbal communication to indicate your feelings.

I find women are better then men at using and reading body language which makes sense given their more observant nature. I know when I am in the process of getting married and am interviewing my potential spouse, I will actually be as vigilant about non verbal communication asI will be about verbal communication. Having said that, I also know that some people are good at hiding their body language but if you spend a significant amount of time ( one hour?)with them you will eventually start seeing some non verbal signs. Further, each person has their own way of usi ng body language which may be dependent of where they grew up, how their parents were and so on.

In conclusion, I think it is a skill to use and read body language and as with other skills, there are some who are better at it than others and then there are those who are naturals. (Din says that as he turns his body away from his laptop!)

A small Booklist on this topic:
Body Language: How to Read Others' Thoughts by Their Gestures (Overcoming Common Problems) (Paperback)
The Definitive Book of Body Language: The Secret Meaning Behind People's Gestures (Hardcover)

Canada and mexicans

FunnY!

Monday, September 24, 2007

Book review: A long way gone


There are books whose contents leave unforgettable imprints in your mind. Ishmael Beah's book "A long way gone" is one of those books. The memoir, a true story reconuts the life of a child soldier who grew up during the Seire Leone civil War.

Ishmael writes with a lot of flow, which along with the interesting contents of the book, makes it very hard to stop reading the book, once you start . First hand accounts of death, seperation from family, rehabilitation and other effects of wars in the book leaves the reader shell shocked. News that one reads , hears and watches about wars can never do justice to the tragedy that war causes to millions on the ground. A must read for sure.


( Watch/read an interview of the writer here)

Sunday, September 23, 2007

Seagul Thief

"A seagull in Scotland has developed the habit of stealing chips from a neighborhood shop.

The seagull waits until the shopkeeper isn't looking, and then walks into the store and grabs a snack-size bag of cheese Doritos.

Once outside, the bag gets ripped open and shared by other birds.


The seagull's shoplifting started early this month when he first swooped into the store in Aberdeen, Scotland, and helped himself to a bag of chips. Since then, he's become a regular. He always takes the same type of chips.

Customers have begun paying for the seagull's stolen bags of chips because they think it's so funny."

News report:




Thursday, September 20, 2007

Web MD: Food that curb hunger

Pehraps these foods are good while fasting as well...

Anyone who has ever been on a diet is familiar with the gnawing feeling of hunger that occurs when you cut way back on calories. And after a few days of feeling deprived, most dieters throw in the towel. But what if you could cut calories, yet still eat plenty of food, and not be plagued with constant hunger? Experts say that if you choose foods that help curb hunger, as well as become more mindful of your eating behaviors, you can actually eat more and still lose weight.READ ON

Sunday, September 16, 2007

The suttle and effective prayer time reminder: fazmi

Looking for prayer time reminders?

A great tool for firefox users. You can install this extension. Go to it's options once you have installed it, to set your location and calculation method. It permanently shows you the prayer times in your firefox window and a pop up appears before prayer times finishes in case you have been delaying the prayer.

I have been using it for over 6 months now and just love it!

A prophetic saying

The Prophet( peace be upon him) said:

"Discreetness safeguards secrets, charity safeguards wealth, sincerity safeguards good deeds, truthfulnesses safeguards speech and consultation safeguards opinion"

( taken from Ibn Hajar Al-Asqalani's "preparing for the day of judgement" published by Awakening, UK)

Nigeria: Impact of Electronic Pollution

This is very Sad:


Africa is recognised as a dumping ground for toxic, chemical and electronic waste from the developed nations of the world.

As much as 80% of the world's high-tech trash ends up in Asia and Africa. Out of this proportion of detritus called e-waste, about 65% flows to China and 35% comes to Nigeria.


TVs, computers and monitors, GSM handsets and wireless devices form the chunk of e-waste in Nigeria today. The computers, with monitors and keyboards, sitting on desks, television sets in houses and offices, GSM handsets etc., are all laced with toxins and deadly chemicals. They are all classified as post-consumer hazardous waste which makes un-suspected users vulnerable to health risks.

This free trade in hazardous waste will end up leaving the indigent peoples of the world with untenable choice between poverty and poison; but while other security-minded developing countries stoutly legislated against the trend, it has the rule rather than exception in Nigeria. READ ON

Pakistan and the return of Nawaz Sharif /Benazir

I am sure most of you have heard of the return of former prime ministers of Pakistan: Benazir and Nawaz Sharif. I grew up as a kid following the politics of both these "democratic" leaders and to be honest their return or thier intent to return does not excite me. IN fact their claim that their presence or absence will determine if Pakistan has democracy or not is ludicrous.

As the Gurdian states about Benazir:

Few would argue with the proposition that democracy is almost always preferable to dictatorship; but it is often forgotten the degree to which Bhutto is the person who has done more than anything to bring Pakistan's strange variety of democracy - really a form of elective feudalism - into disrepute. During her first 20-month long premiership, astonishingly, she failed to pass a single piece of major legislation. Her reign was marked by massive human rights abuse: Amnesty International accused her government of having one of the world's worst records of custodial deaths, extrajudicial killings and torture. Bhutto's premiership was also distinguished by epic levels of corruption. In 1995 Transparency International named Pakistan one of the three most corrupt countries in the world. Bhutto and her husband, Asif Zardari - widely known as "Mr 10%" - faced allegations of plundering the country.
As for Mr. Sharif, he never fared any better either as BBC writes:

He controversially reversed a constitutional amendment which took away the president's powers to dismiss the prime minister.

A power struggle with the judiciary also gripped the country after Mr Sharif fell out with the then Chief Justice, Sajjad Ali Shah.

Mr Sharif faced possible disqualification from office after charges of contempt of court were brought against him, but these were eventually dismissed.

In 1998, he was confronted by another stand-off after a former army head said the army should formally have a say in the running of the government.

I dont think that any individual can claim to bring back democracy . I think the two most important aspects of any democratic fair system is justice at every level of society and the education of the masses. The problem with the education system is perfectly explained in this week's Crossing Continents ( BBC):

Pakistan's Government of President Pervez Musharraf likes to describe itself as being on the frontline of the "war on terror". But there is another related war going on, a struggle for the heart and soul of Pakistan's education system.

It is a war the government is losing. Sixty years after independence, more than six million children are not attending school. And that's a conservative estimate. Of those that are in school, something like a third drop out when they are just five or six years old.

These are uncertain times for Pakistanis politically ( both global and local politics) . Please make dua for Pakistan.

Monday, September 10, 2007

reportonbusiness.com: It's cricket for Microsoft, as it woos Indian employees


reportonbusiness.com: It's cricket for Microsoft, as it woos Indian employees

SEATTLE — On a cloudless summer day, Manish Prabhu stares out at a converted soccer field thousands of miles from his native India and watches a cricket ball skip past some fielders dressed in white.
It is an unlikely place for a game of cricket, but Mr. Prabhu has spent hundreds of afternoons playing with the Microsoft Cricket Club on this bumpy turf near the company's campus in Redmond, Washington.

What about other minorities or the majority?


Thursday, September 06, 2007

Quote from an immigrant friend

"I did not have an accent till I came here"
said by a friend in 2004 who had immigrated to Canada.

Time-Wasting

There are always excuses we can find on why we cant, wont or dont do something...But if there is a will there is a way and you really should start NOW!:

"If you are harmed by the heat of the summer
And the dryness of autumn and the cold of the winter
And you are ditracted by the beuty of Springtime
Then tell me, when will you seek knowledge"

Imam Ahmad Ibn Faris al Razi ( taken from the Value of Time by Shaykh Abd- Al-Fattah Abu Ghuddah).

Monday, September 03, 2007

For God's sake

or in Urdu its called..Khuda key liay...Thats the name of the new Pakistani movie which has done rathar well in the Pakistani theatres. Thanks to Haseeb bhai for directing me to the movie which is now available on Google videos. I thought the movie had a good theme and touched upon many pertinent themes which are relevant globally. ( though I do think that the movie should have been slower and split into two to three episodes because in some parts, the movie went so fast that it skipped over details, which the viewer had to make assumptions about...). Plus I think the movie focussed too much on the blacks and whites rathar then the spectrum of colours which exist on both sides of the so called global conflict ( or misunderstanding?).

regardless I wont spoil the movie for you. Do watch it yourself if you know urdu. All Things Pakistani has a good review of the movie as well... I will quote Haseeb bhai on the good questions the movie raises:

"How do we respond to Muslim girls’ relationships with non-Muslim guys? (Obviously we know its haraam, but it is a reality).

Is Music haraam? (NOTE: I know there is a legitimate difference of opinion on this issue and I by no means suggest that those who view music as impermissible are extremists!!!)

How do we help our young sincere Muslim brothers and sisters who get caught up with extremist ideologies? (The same issues holds true in Europe and America as well)

How do the real wise ulema of our times stand up and overcome the extremist preachers who so effectively target our youth?

How do we react to racial profiling and the tragedies of Guantanamo Bay and other secret prisons that even today still hold innocent Muslims?

How can we continue to explain to our outraged Muslim brethren across the world that America and the west in general isn’t inherently evil and anti-Islam?"

Who will answer these good questions? I think the answer lies beyond blogs and words and really comes down to taking well thought out actions at your local level whatever form they may take. (the content of these "actions' is subjective rather then objective in my opinion and dependent on your local circumstances and resources) and the purpose would be to educate people across the spectrum ( both muslims and non muslims) through action and word.

NEW ALBUM Badr-ud-Dujaa Shams-ud-Duhaa - by Junaid Jamshed



Badr-ud-Dujaa Shams-ud-Duhaa - by Junaid Jamshed (Audio CD)

Listen to these links in Wndows Media player for preview of his nasheeds. To buy these in North america click here. For a purchase from England click here.

Badr-ud-Dujaa
Bold And Brave
Hijrat
Kamli Wale
Madinah Ko Jaiye
Mere Allah. Tu Kareem Hai!
Nasab Mubarak Janab Muhammad Rasulullah sallallahu 'alayhi wasallam (Maulana Tariq Jameel)
O Merciful!
Habibi, Rasooli (English)
Habibi, Rasooli (Urdu)
Du'a-e-Taariq



Sunday, September 02, 2007

Battle at Kruger

This video has been making it's rounds ( and you might have seen it already). Buffalos vs Crocs vs Lions....16 million views already...a must watch!

Punjabi Dubbing

On a lighter note watch this video which has funny punjabee dubbing to a Bush debate...

Quizing about Shabay Baraat...

Interesting video via GeoPakistani which interviews people in an urban area in pakistan about Shabay-Baraat ( in urdu). A big majority do not know what it is . (Of course these interviews were taken in one market in one city within the middle class areas so it cant claim to be truly representative but still it is sad viewing for it does represent a significant number of Pakistanis...)