"Once you change your philosophy, you change your thought pattern. Once you change your thought pattern, you change your -- your attitude. Once you change your attitude, it changes your behavior pattern and then you go on into some action. As long as you gotta sit-down philosophy, you'll have a sit-down thought pattern, and as long as you think that old sit-down thought you'll be in some kind of sit-down action. They'll have you sitting in everywhere. It's not so good to refer to what you're going to do as a sit-in. That right there castrates you. Right there it brings you down. What -- What goes with it? What -- Think of the image of someone sitting. An old woman can sit. An old man can sit. A chump can sit. A coward can sit. Anything can sit. Well you and I been sitting long enough, and it's time today for us to start doing some standing, and some fighting to back that up."
Now, a device for pre-prayer wash
By Dina Aboul Hosn, Staff Reporter
Dubai: An automated Wudu (ablution) system that promises Muslims a time-efficient performance before each prayer has won qualified approval from scholars in the UAE.
The Auto Wudu Washer, developed by a Malaysian and endorsed by the Islamic Council of Qatar and Islamic Council of New South Wales, claims to be the world's first automatic pre-prayer washing and drying system.
"It has inbuilt washing units for ear, face, hands and foot, which allows a person to perform all functions without water spillage," said Anthony Gomez, chairman of AACE Worldwide and developer of the system, which will be displayed in Dubai this month.
Shaikh Ahmad Zu Al Nourain, member of the Iftaa Committee, said the device can be used provided it completely washes the body parts. Shaikh Mohammad Al Hakami, a religious scholar, said any technology that helps Muslims perform their religious duties properly is welcome.
People's opinions varied. Samer Khalil, a 27-year-old Syrian broker in Dubai, said he would use it if it saves time and water. But Palestinian Maha Amer, 34, said Wudu is a ritual she likes to perform peacefully and gracefully, which is why she will not use machines for the purpose.
Rather, the istikhara is a prayer that Allah guide you towards that which is best (khayr) for you. If you do the prayer of guidance (istikhara) with the proper manners, the most important of which is to truly consign the matter to Allah and suspend your own inclinations, then Allah will make events unfold in the direction that is the best for your worldly and next-worldly affairs.
The sunna is that one changes oneself by developing habits and realizations:
a) make it a habit not to second guess yourself after making a decision: once you take a decision, stick to it (unless there is a manifest and undeniable reason not to, such as obvious harm). If you get doubts or misgivings, just say, Tawakkaltu `ala Allah’ (I have placed my trust in Allah). This is taken from the QurÂ’an verse,… And if you make a resolve, then place your trust in Allah.
b) realize that all we are responsible for is taking sound means: it is Allah, not us, who creates the results.Inshah allah Allah gives us the most effective means to make the best decisions which benefit us in this world and the next. Ameen.
From the BBC World Service:
The London bombings, the Paris riots and, more recently, the cartoon controversy - Europe's Muslims are scarcely ever out of the news.
In this three-part series, Roger Hardy goes in search of the roots of Muslim alienation, asks if Muslim anger is justified or unjustified - and tries to gauge where Europe and its Muslims are heading. ( Listen to : Part 1, Part 2, Part 3)
Listen to Part One ( Click Here)
Commentators are asking if Islam is compatible with Western values - and if a new generation of angry young European Muslims will become increasingly radicalised.
The first part begins in Leeds - home to three of the London bombers - and then moves to the Paris suburbs.
Young Muslims in both places share similar grievances, but these play out in very different contexts.
French "mono-culturalism" stands in marked contrast to British multi-culturalism - but have both failed?
Listen to Part Two ( Click here)
The second in the series focuses on young Muslims in the Netherlands, more than a year after the killing of controversial film-maker Theo Van Gogh by a young Dutch citizen of Moroccan origin.
How have Islamic and secular lifestyles among the young developed and how do they compare?
And hear from the prominent right-wing politician who's taken up the mantle of the late Pim Fortuyn.
Listen to Part Three (Click Here)
The scene shifts to Milan, which has acquired a reputation as a "hub" of Islamic radicalism.
Muslims have arrived in Italy more recently than in northern Europe, and few have acquired Italian citizenship.
The programme looks at the social problems confronting a new and insecure immigrant community - and asks whether the failure of efforts at integration will increase the danger of radicalisation.
Portrayals of the Prophet underestimate his grandeur, but they are not "banned"
One of Marc Chagall's bitterest memories was of an encounter with a devout great-uncle. On learning that there was an image-maker in the family, the old man had refused to shake his hand. To secular sensibilities this seems bizarre, another proof of the irrational bloody-mindedness of religion; yet in Jewish terms, the event signals an interesting clash of humanisms. Neither Chagall nor his elderly relative were fanatics. They were both concerned to honour the mystery of the human face, but in utterly irreconcilable ways. Read on
A ban on head scarfs in school gym classes spawns the 'capster' and a small business.
| Contributor to The Christian Science MonitorSON EN BREUGEL, THE NETHERLANDS – In 1999, while seeking a graduate project idea at the Design Academy of Eindhoven, Cindy van den Bremen found a problem-solving opportunity.The Dutch Commission of Equal Treatment had recently ruled that high schools could prohibit Muslim girls from wearing head coverings in gym class. Girls were advised to wear turtlenecks teamed with swim caps. But some were ignoring the sartorial advice, preferring instead to skip gym all together.
At about that time, the Dutch were beginning to become disillusioned with multiculturalism - a trend that was to intensify in the next few years with the death of maverick anti-immigrant politician Pim Fortuyn and the murder of filmmaker Theo Van Gogh by a radical Dutch Islamist.For Ms. van den Bremen, the phys-ed class controversy offered a means to marry her political sense of injustice with her professional expertise. "I realized that if the hijabs did not look traditional, but hip and trendy, they could possibly change prejudice into some sort of admiration," says the young Dutch designer.
Within months, the "capster" was born, and quickly blossomed into a business. In four styles designed for tennis, skating, aerobics, and outdoor sports, van den Bremen's head coverings were sleek, safe, and - in the words of a local Islamic cleric - "Islamically correct."
Even an elderly man at her graduation show who told her he didn't like the hijab at all, said he did like her designs. "This made me realize even more that the social problem with the acceptance of the hijab was not about the girls being covered, but the way they are covered," says van den Bremen.
Initially, she expected that she'd be done with the capsters after graduation. But the capsters' popularity has grown steadily, and grateful feedback she receives and the clamor for more such products has encouraged her to expand her small business operation.
For Farah Azwai, an athletic undergraduate at the American Intercontinental University in London, who started wearing the hijab at age 16, the capster was a relief.
"Before I had the capsters, I tried a number of things - I used to wear a bandanna and tried fixing my hijab in different ways but it wasn't very practical and I always had problems," says Ms. Azwai, who bought the "skate" and "outdoors" models online. "The fabric and style is very modern, it totally suits my style - it goes well with my sports clothes, with brands like Nike, Adidas and Pineapple."
Van den Bremen's business expansion plans include increasing production of the four current lines to keep up with demand as well as new lines of "breathable" capsters for tropical climates.
She also has designs on promoting intercultural dialogue. She recently teamed with Dutch Iranian photographer Giti Entezami to produce Sharing Motives, a book featuring 25 Dutch women in a variety of hijabs. The duo has since expanded their project to an exhibition - currently on display at the University of Utrecht - accompanied by a series of lectures and debates.
More than a year after Van Gogh's killing sparked a violent anti-Muslim backlash, experts say a pressing need for intercultural dialogue remains in the Netherlands. A recent Pew Global Attitudes study found the Netherlands to be the only Western country where a majority of the population - 51 percent - views Muslims unfavorably.
Amid a recent slew of immigration tightening measures, beefed-up citizenship tests and controversial antiterrorism programs inviting citizens to report "suspect people," Muslim community leaders say a proposed ban on the burqa - an all-enveloping Islamic covering for women - is yet another shot in the Netherlands' rising Islamophobia.
"There are two sets of standards in this country," says Famille Arslan, a prominent Dutch Muslim lawyer. "One is for Muslims and another for non-Muslims. This law not only discriminates against religion and gender, it also threatens to further polarize the people."
In December, the Dutch parliament approved a ban on the burqa and other Islamic veils that cover the face in all public places. The measure - which was introduced by conservative politician Geert Wilders - is currently awaiting approval from a commission examining the legality of such a ban under European human rights laws.
If passed, it would be one of the most restrictive responses to Islamic clothing in Europe. Defenders of the ban note that the measure does not apply to the head scarf (or capster), merely to Islamic garments that cover the face such as the burqa and the niqab, a facial veil with an opening for the eyes. Experts estimate that only about 50 to 100 women among Holland's 1 million Muslims currently don such extensive veiling.
Despite widespread criticism, Mr. Wilders is determined to push his initiative through the legal process. "I hope to succeed with my motion because I believe I have broad popular support," he says in a phone interview. "Parliament has followed public opinion, but the government can act differently for political reasons."
Van den Bremen bemoans the lack of intercultural dialogue. "It seems like no one is discussing things with the girls. They always talk about the girls," she says. "I was struck by how emancipated they were. They were demanding to be judged by their capacity, not their looks."
Children and parents are united in their appreciation of the benefits of eating together and value the intimacy that this brings, according to new research.
In the study, based on surveys of more than 900 families, researchers found that parents place greatest importance on eating together, with younger children most likely to agree with them. Teenagers still prove reluctant converts, though, becoming less inclined to prioritise the family meal as they get older, and find the lure of the TV dinner more appealing. Adolescents are not known for making regular appearances at the family dining table, but experts point out that family mealtimes are a necessity and should not be viewed as an occasional bonus, as they help to keep families healthy and harmonious.
The study, by the University of Minnesota, is published in the latest edition of the Journal of the American Dietetic Association. It concludes: "Family meals may be a useful mechanism for enhancing family togetherness and communication and for role modelling behaviours that parents would like their children to emulate."
The Emissary of God (may God bless him and grant him peace) said, ‘Gather together over your food and you will be blessed in it.’ Anas [ibn Malik] said, ‘The Emissary of God (may God bless him and grant him peace) used not to eat alone.’ And the Emissary of God said, ‘The best food is that over which there are many hands.’
The one who correctly praises me is my friend. The one who correctly criticizes me is my teacher. The one who flatters me is my enemy.An article in Psychology Today also indicates that bottling up is not a healthy way to deal with your anger. If you have problems expressing your anger Here are some of the tips it offers:
The key to expressing anger healthfully is to do it assertively; not aggressively or passively.The first step in changing your anger style is to express it in the opposite way from what you normally do and to start out small. So if you donÂ’t like confronting people, try expressing how you feel to rude strangers for a week. Then work up to a co-worker and/or your spouse.
And the same article ends with a wise quote:
Anger is a normal and healthy emotion, affirms Engel. ItÂ’s how we deal with it that turns it into a negative.
Another article states that control is the key when it comes to anger and it gives the following tips to help control yourself. I like the way how it starts with the "Looking Glass"
Looking Glass: Self-awareness will improve clarity and help you see yourself. How do you really feel when a friend doesn't call you back? Instead of losing your cool or stuffing your feelings, take a look at the situation. You may find that it's not about you at all.Self-Regulation: Do you think and speak negative thoughts? Then cut it out! Negative inner dialogue will get you nowhere. Try distracting yourself with positive thoughts about loved ones, a vacation spot or an enjoyable activity. Also, relaxation exercises such as deep breathing or meditating can help.
Communicate: Open up and put your ideas on the table. Chances are others will find what you have to say engaging. In addition to speaking up more, listen to others as well. This will help you exchange ideas and points of view.
Be Proactive:Find and implement reasonable problem-solving solutions rather than sitting idly and stewing over a bad day. Define your problem, remember your goals and think about how to really get there. If you are always late for work, for example, then get up 10 minutes earlier.
The Art of Persuasion:People who rise to high places don't crack under pressure, they coolly think about the situation at hand. And they employ skills that work such as persuasiveness, conflict management and taking a leadership position.Empathize with Others: Everyone has a bad day. So be empathetic. This may help you reframe a person's bad behavior. And in the end, it's not about you.
Saying No: No one wants to be labeled a pushover, nor do they want to be confrontational. But how do you assert your needs without 1) collapsing into a pile of mush or 2) stepping on everyone's toes? There are ways to assert yourself in situations that don't suit you. You can say no by keeping it simple and including an explicit "no."
Ofcourse the best example to deal with anger is the Prophetic example. Rumi quotes Jesus in this short quote:
- First, of course, is to identify anger and to acknowledge it. Anger is one of those emotions whose expression is sometimes subject to taboos, so people can grow up unable to recognize it. They feel its physical discomfort but don't know how to label it. Build a lexicon for your internal states. Feelings are fluid. You need to stop and capture them in a word, or else you lose them and don't know you have them.
- View your anger as a signal. It is not something to be escaped. It is not something to be suppressed. It is something to be accepted as a sign that some deeper threat has occurred that needs your attention.
- Make yourself aware of the purpose your anger serves. Things that have a positive purpose seek betterment, growth, love, enhancement and fulfillment. Things that have a negative purpose are motivated by a sense of deficiency. Your boss yells at you, and you feel diminished. The anger you express towards others is driven by the blow you've just received. In order to identify your motivation, you need to look within.
- Tune into the inner dialogue you customarily have with yourself. If your anger is deficiency-motivated (driven by a desire to rectify a wrong you believe was done to you), work on acceptance. Give up your obsession about the wrong. Uproot mistaken beliefs that underlie your response. Very often anger is the result of beliefs that lead you to place unreasonable demands on circumstances, such as the belief that life must be fair. The belief that you are entitled to fairness results from the mistaken idea that you are special.
A sober-minded man said to Jesus,
"What in this existence is hardest to bear?"
"O dear soul," he replied, "the hardest is God's anger,
from which Hell is trembling as we are."
"And what is the protection against God's anger?"
Said Jesus, "To abandon your own anger at once."
Moreover Islam being the complete way of life that is offer a lot of resources and ways to deal with your anger. Some of these ways are mentioned here. ( As is obvious there is common ground with what Psychological research suggests). There are Quranic ayahs which mention control:
And vie with one another for forgiveness from your Lord, and for a Paradise as wide as are the heavens and the earth, prepared for those fear Allah (al-muttaqin) ; Those who spend (of that which Allah has given them) in ease and in adversity, those who control their wrath, and are forgiving toward mankind; and Allah loves the good. And those who, when they do an evil deep or wrong themselves, remember Allah and implore forgiveness for their sins. And who forgives sins but Allah?...” (Qur’an, 3: 133-135)
The following Hadiths ( Prophetic Traditions) also warn of the danger of anger:
- `Â’isha (Allah be pleased with her) reports that, “The Prophet entered while she was angry. So he rubbed the tip of my nose and said, ‘My little Â’isha. Say, ‘O Allah, forgive my sin, remove the anger in my heart, and protect me from Satan.Â’ (AllahummaÂ’ Ghfirli dhanbi, wa adhhib ghaydha qalbi, wa aajirni min ash-shaytan)” [Ibn al-Sunni, as mentioned in BarkawiÂ’s Tariqa al-Muhammadiyya]
- The Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) said, “If you get angry, stay silent.” [Ahmad]
- The Prophet (Allah bless him & give him peace) is reported to have said, “If you get angry while standing, sit down…. If you get angry while sitting, lie down.The wisdom in this is that it prevents one from doing that which one’s anger would have made one do in that posture.
- The Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) said, The strong one is not one who can out-wrestle others. Rather, the strong one is one who can restrain themselves when angry. [Bukhari& Muslim]
Another good advice from the teachers on Sunnipath is:
If you have harmed any person in result of anger and hatred, you should apologize. Always make efforts on adopting the beautiful character of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him); forgive and forget. Do you see the results of such a character? Those who were once enemies, changed to those who sacrificed their life for the Prophet (sal Allahu alaihi wassallam). It's a matter of patience and then results. Insha Allah.'
