Fault "lines"

Below are are notes on some common observations I have made when people deal with their own or other people's faults.

"I am Faultless"
To think that you have no fault is like trying to cross a deep wildriver (i.e. life) without knowing how to swim ( i.e. reflection). To improve , you have to realize that you have deficiencies and there is always room for making yourself better. Nobody's perfect? right?

"I will be perfect"
To think that you will eliminate all your faults will be putting too much pressure on yourself. This is almost impossible, while it should be the ultimate aim but know that you will always have to be vigilant about faults.You can get rid of them but new ones will always try to
come up.

"Did you know, he/she has this habit of?"
To try and find out faults of others will hamper you. "Realize that you should guard your tongue from other people's faults. Since other people have tongues and you have faults"( from Imam Haddad's Book of Assistance). You will inevitably come across faults. Condemn the fault not the person who has that fault.

"He/she will always be like this"
To think that the other cannot remove his/her fault is another one of your own faults People change. Hence you should always try to give them the benefit of doubt and try to keep giving them a chance. You are probably not the same person you were two years ago?

" I am sure that he/she is like this"
To fail to see that you could be seeing another's fault through your own fault; Sometimes when we look at faults we have a bias in the way we look at them. In other words we may find something wrong about someone however our judegement may be impacted by our own persoanl " flaw"

" I am so bad"
To always focus on your own faults is putting yourself down. You have faults but you have qualities as well. While you cannot ignore your faults totally you also cant spend all your time focusing on them because you need to nurture and use your good qualities as well. Not using your good qualities for good is a fault in itself. Learn to forgive yourself and learn from your mistakes at the same time.

" I can never do this"
To think that you can never improve on your faults is pessimism. If you don't believe it you can't do it (i.e. remove your faults). You have to believe that you can remove any fault yet realizing at the same time that you can never sit back and think that you have no faults any more.

"Look at him/her"
To judge another on their physical faults which you deem to be faults.EVen though you will form your first opinion on a certain person based on how he looks,talks or dresses up, don't be rigid about this first impression....Don't judge a book by its cover.

"Why is he/she like this?"
To expect others to be faultless. Don't build up unrealistic high expectations of other people. Be positive about them but also be practical. If you build too perfect of an image you will be disappointed when you find out that your image was flawed. Sometimes a picture can be bad because the photographer is not good…..

"I am messed up because I spend too much time with him/her"
If you find that the faults of another person are making it hard for you to improve yourself then try to avoid these faults by nurturing/encouraging the good qualities in the people who are
possesors of these faults but if you are not in a position to do that then be vigilant of these faults when you are with this person or these people.

"Everybody does it, it must be right..."
Be vigilant also when you are with groups of people ,because some times when every body thinks some thing is okay ( they all might have the same fault?) it does not make it okay. You have to try to be vigilant on matters (of course without seeming rude or harsh) even when you are with, what you think is reasonable company.

Disclaimer:
"Is the writer of this article perfect?"
No. If you think this. It is your own fault. :-)

Note: While these deal with inter personal relationships the same principles can also be applied when dealing with organizations or even governments since it is after all "humans" who run these organizations, governments etc.