BBC: Anatomy of a car crash

A sad documentary I just heard. One realizes the Importance of driving carefully and how its not just your own rights but rights of others which obligate you to drive safely.

Anatomy of a car crash

By Daily Mail Reporter
Last updated at 3:14 AM on 25th October 2008

A driver fights for survival, his brother lies dead, and the life of the woman who caused the smash is in ruins... the victims of a car crash tell their own stories

Lives can be changed in a split second: more than 30,000 people are killed or seriously injured on the roads each year, yet most incidents merit barely more than a few column inches in the local newspaper.

In Anatomy Of A Car Crash, Radio 4 attempts to trace the chain reaction of one fatal collision, which received barely any coverage yet has left many scars.

On a warm June evening last year, near Truro in Cornwall, 22-year-old nursery nurse Holly Hambly made a fatal error when she tried to overtake a slow-moving crane on a single carriageway. But, instead of pulling back into her lane when it became clear she would not pass the vehicle in time, Hambly kept going and smashed into the side of an oncoming car, The fallout was fatal and devastating.

The collision with retired policeman Dave Braddon led to him suffering serious injuries and the death of his brother, Michael, while Holly lost her job and suffered a breakdown as she awaited charges of causing death by dangerous driving. Here, those involved, from the victims to the paramedic, relive the events of that night.

Victim: Dave Braddon

THE VICTIM
Dave Braddon is a 55-year-old retired police officer from Cornwall

With 35 years in the police service, I'd dealt with thousands of road traffic accidents over the years, but I had no idea what it was like to actually be involved in one, or of the trauma it causes.

Of course, you don't see it coming. 18 June 2007, was a glorious, sunny day. I'd been retired for five weeks, my two daughters had left home, and my wife, Chris, and I were looking forward to an enjoyable life.

My brother, Michael, a hospital worker, had come over for the day, as we were all going to a neighbouring village for a feast day celebration. Chris was sitting next to me, in the front passenger seat, and Michael was behind her. We were travelling west on the A30 and had arrived at the brow of a hill when I saw the other car coming towards me.

I remember braking, then Chris saying to me, 'The car's on fire.' I opened the door and stumbled out, then fell to the floor. Blood was pouring down my face. Then I must have passed out. The next thing I remember is hearing a voice. Despite everything, I realised it was someone I knew.

It was the paramedic, Mark, who happened to be a friend; I'd worked with him on road accidents. It was a very strange quirk that he turned up at mine. Soon after that I must have slipped into unconsciousness because I have no other memories.

In hospital, six days after being admitted, I had an operation, intricate brain surgery, which lasted ten and a half hours. I had a craniotomy: my scalp was peeled back and titanium plates were fixed to my skull. They also rebuilt my eye socket out of titanium too. Sixty-three pieces of glass were extracted from my body.

I remember Chris telling me that Michael was dead before I had the operation. I felt numb - Michael didn't have a bad bone in his body. I was in hospital for five weeks, and bedridden for three months. At Michael's funeral I had to use walking sticks as I could hardly stand.

It was tough, but I didn't have a problem with going to court and seeing the driver who caused the accident. As far as I was concerned, she was facing up to her responsibilities, but I could see no point in giving her a prison sentence. She didn't set out that evening to cause mayhem.

We had a daughter the same age and we knew how heartbroken we would have been if the situation was in reverse. It would have served no useful point in inflicting that same injury on that person and their family.

At the same time, the consequences have been farreaching. Sixteen months later, people say, 'You're getting over it now', but you live with the trauma for the rest of your life.

Victim's wife: Christine Braddon

THE VICTIM'S WIFE
Christine Braddon married Dave in 1982

I remember it was a lovely evening and we were in no particular hurry. And I also remember seeing the car coming straight at us on the wrong side of the road. Dave braked and, just for a moment, I thought we'd made it. But we weren't that lucky. We were hit, and spun, and hit again and spun again.

The bonnet was up in the air, the horn was going off and there was smoke filling Dave's side of the car. I looked at Dave and all I could see was blood. He was saying, 'I think I've gone blind, I have to get out.' He got out of the car and lay on the verge. I laid down beside him and held his hand - he was pretty mangled.

By this time, I realised that Michael was in a bad state too. Someone was giving him the kiss of life. Even though he was seriously injured, he started making sounds - he was trying to talk - and I remember the man who was giving him cardiac resuscitation saying, 'Thank God, he's back with us.' But then we lost him again.

At the hospital, the doctors told me Dave needed brain surgery, but they didn't know how he was going to react. They said they might have to remove his eye, but, even if they could save it, he could well be blind.

They monitored him for six days, keeping him stable, before they could operate. Before he went into theatre, I wheeled Dave into a private room so that I could tell him that Michael was dead. He was so heavily sedated I don't think he took it all in, and he didn't know that I'd suffered broken ribs and very severe bruising.

Michael didn't live in Cornwall - although he had been talking about coming back - so, at his funeral, we draped a Cornish flag over his coffin. We think about him every day and miss him terribly, but we are starting to move forward. I'm just so glad we're still around. Things could have been so different that night.

The guilty driver: Holly Hambly

THE GUILTY DRIVER
Holly Hambly is a 23-year-old nursery nurse who lives outside Truro with her parents

It was just a normal day. I was just driving home from work and there was a slow-moving vehicle in front of me. I peered into the distance and it looked like nothing was coming the other way, so I decided to overtake.

I realised very quickly that I was in trouble. All I could think was, 'What to do now?' I was either going to have to drive into the lorry that was in front of me, or the car that was coming in the opposite direction, or onto the verge. My car juddered and came to a halt.

I remember getting out of my car, turning round and seeing the devastation in front of me. All I could say was, 'What have I done, what have I done?'

I was put in a police car with a constable. At one point he got out and when he got back in he said, 'I'm sorry to say Michael Braddon has passed away, and I'm arresting you on suspicion of causing death by dangerous driving.' I didn't know what to say, or do, or think.

I just sat there and tried to gather my thoughts. I couldn't believe that I'd caused an accident that had actually killed someone.

When I got to the police station I had my prints, DNA and photo taken, and then they put me in a cell on my own. I think I was there for about five hours, just hiding under a blanket. When they let me go home, I couldn't tell my parents that I'd been arrested, so the constable accompanying me had to.

My life stopped from then on. I wasn't allowed to return to work and all I could do was wait for the trial. Sometimes, I wouldn't even get out of bed, and I pretty much shut everybody out. I became very paranoid.

Somebody could say my name and I could turn it into something more: that they were talking about the accident, saying I was a horrible person and asking why I was the one who was still alive. If I could change that day, I would, with a click of my fingers.

In court I was so frightened. I remember standing in the dock and seeing the Braddons. That was hard, because I hadn't seen them since the accident. When I heard Mr Braddon's statement, in which he said that he saw no purpose in me going to prison, I remember thinking, 'How could he be that nice to me?' It's very hard to deal with. You expect someone in that position to be horrible, then you hear him making a statement like that - after all his family have been through.

I still thought I'd be sent to prison, so it was an enormous relief to be given a five-year driving ban, a £500 fine, a year's suspended sentence and 240 hours unpaid work.

I accept full responsibility for what happened - my decision that day caused the accident. Life is different for me now, because I'm always going to have the accident in my head. I've never spoken to the Braddons, but I'm sorry every day that they've lost a brother, and I'm so grateful for the forgiveness they've shown me,

because they've allowed my family to move on. Getting back into childcare will probably be my next step, once I've done my probation work, and if people are willing to give me a job now that I have a criminal record.

THE DRIVER'S MUM
Nikki Hambly is Holly's mother. She is a cleaner and lives just outside Truro

When Holly rang to tell me she'd been in an accident, my first question was, 'Are you all right?' Then I asked about everyone else. She said, 'Not so good, Mum.' That's when our little world fell apart.

Back home, she was okay for a while, but then, one night, she came home after being out with friends and had a massive breakdown, sobbing and crying. She was frightened, saying, 'I don't want to go to prison', and I was thinking, 'I can't promise you that.' By the November she had a complete breakdown. It was terrible.

To this day, I think a lot about the other family, about how they're coping and how sorry we are that they lost a brother. I wish I could change it: if only she'd been ten minutes earlier or later. But the bottom line for me was, I had to look after my daughter. It never occurred to me that we'd ever have to go through anything like this, but it could have happened to anybody. It's probably happening today to somebody.

The paramedic: Mark Fuszard

THE PARAMEDIC
Mark Fuszard is based in Newquay

As we approached the scene, I saw one particular vehicle, which was the centre of attention, and I could see that someone was receiving CPR. It was obvious that this patient wasn't breathing and was in cardiac arrest - in other words, we needed to get him into a resuscitation room as fast as we could.

Just before we left the scene to go to hospital, I quickly went round to the driver of the vehicle and asked the paramedic who was dealing with him what this patient's condition was. Then a voice said, 'Is that you Mark?' and I realised it was Dave. I was stunned - as a paramedic you have to take yourself outside the emotion of the situation, but knowing one of the victims made it become very real. I still had to be professional, though, and get on with the job.

We were working on Michael the whole time we were in the ambulance, then we wheeled him into the hospital where the doctors and nurses took over.

They worked on him for about ten minutes before they realised there was nothing more they could do. As I walked out, Dave was being wheeled in by another paramedics. I couldn't make eye contact; I had to look away. I didn't want to be the one to tell him that his brother was dead. I just couldn't have done that.

THE INVESTIGATING OFFICER
Nick Hamblin is senior investigating officer in one of Cornwall's roads policing unit

Because the offence was a very serious crime, the investigation needed to be very thorough to produce the evidence to support the charge. It lasted for five months, with my team systematically going over everything that had happened that evening, looking at positions of vehicles, taking statements, examining the evidence.
I think the outcome was fair for everyone. You had a young woman who hadn't set out to kill anybody, but, by the same token, Michael Braddon didn't expect to die that day. Holly made a grave error and got it horribly wrong, but she will live with that for the rest of her life.

Anatomy Of A Car Crash is on Thursday on BBC Radio 4 at 8pm.

Listen here:
http://downloads.bbc.co.uk/podcasts/worldservice/docarchive/docarchive_20090529-1610a.mp3

Shaykh Hamza: "Relax, your in good hands"

"If you take a child and you throw the child up- there is a point where....... they go into this state of complete panic and then when they come back to your arms---they are laughing. That is Dunya. I guarantee you That moment ( in the air)--that is your life. You came from God and your going back to God. And there is just a moment where your in a complete state of panic but..just relax..Your in good hands....."

Shaykh Hamza Yusuf, 17 Benefits of Tribulation ( Audio CD)

Good and bad companions

It is related that Abu Musa reported that the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, "The metaphor of a good companion and a bad companion is that of someone possessing musk and the bellows of the blacksmith. From someone possessing musk you either buy it or smell its scent while the bellows of the blacksmith either burn your body or your clothes or you smell a foul odour from them."

Sleep with the dogs....

I heard a scholar use the following phrase when explaining the importance of keeping good company:

"Those who sleep with dogs will rise with fleas"

Watching what one says

I was once talking to a learned Shaykh about watching what one says. He made an interesting analagy.

He told me the problem with some people ( who talk to much ) is similar to hadath ( a condition where one cant control one's excrement's).

Scary!

May ALlah help us control our tounges!

Punjabi Wise Sayings 9: The Gardener

Mali da kam pani dena bhar bhar mashkan paway
Malik da kam phal phul laona laway ya na laway

Translation

The gardener's job is to water ( the garden)

Working hard day after day

It is God's job to make the fruit grow ( in the garden)

And it's up to God to decide to make the fruit grow or not

Commentary:

The Gardner's job is to water the garden and work hard day after day. Hence the gardener is only responsible for taking the means and working hard. The results ( fruits) of this hard work are in God's hand and hence it is God's decision if he makes the fruit grow or not i.e. it is not for the Gardener's job to worry about the results of his hard work.

Quote

“I skate to where the puck is going to be, not where it has been.”

Wayne Gretzkey

Food for Thoughts

Hadrat Ali ( May Allah be pleased with him) said:

" Be in Allah's estimation the best of people, and in the estimation of your nafs the worst of people, and in people's estimation just a man amongst people"

Malik ibn Dinar said:
"Remedy three things with three- pride with humiliy, greed with contentment, and envy with sincere advice."

It is said:
"The movement towards obedience is evidence of knowledge, just as movement of the body is evidence of its vitality."

From Preparing for the Day of Judgement, Imam ibn Hajar Asqalani

La Adree Institute!

After all the hype (?), we are finally here. This organization will change the landscape of islamic learning in the West and East; North and South; Online and Offline. Its here!

La Adree Institute.

Translated into english La Adree means "I dont know".

The problem with our times is that there are a lot of people who think they know but they dont really know. La Adree Institute is here to teach people that they dont really know. So all we know is that we dont know either, so thats all we can teach you.

Whats our vision? We dont know.

Who came up with this idea? We dont know.

Who are our teachers? We dont know.

Whats our location? We dont know.

How many students do we aim to reach? We dont know.

Why are you using "we" Are there more than 1 person in the organization? We dont know.

When is the first class? We dont know.

Will the classes be weekend programs or halaqa style? We dont know.

Who can you contact for more information? We dont know.

Whats our brand? We dont know.

Whats our logo? We dont know?

Whats our website? We dont know.

Who heads La Adree Institute? We dont know.

What do you know? The only thing we can tell you about La Adree Institute is that we dont really know and we want you to know that you dont know either!

La Adree. Drown yourself! (in your lack of knowledge)

Lost Generation

Someone forwarded us this text based video to us. The (text only) video is very thought provoking for sure. ( even though it is only 2 minutes).

The North Wind and the Sun

We heard a Shaykh read this small story. It is very insightful.

"I am stronger than you," said the North Wind to the Sun.

"That is not true," said the Sun. "Everyone knows that I am the stronger."

"Show me that you are stronger than I," replied the North Wind. "You know very well that you are not."

"Do you see that traveler coming? I can make him take off his coat. You can not," said the Sun.

"We will see about that," answered the North Wind. "The one that makes the traveler take off his coat is the victor."

"All right," said the Sun, "and you may have the first trial."

"Whew! How the North Wind blows," said the traveler. "Whew! whew! Hold on there, North Wind; I would rather walk than fly. Whew! whew!

"How cold it is! I must button my coat uptight. Whew! whew! whew! I never felt such a wind before," said the traveler, as he folded his arms over his breast. "It seems determined to tear off my coat. I will turn my back to it. Whew! whew! whew! whew!" But the more the wind blew, the tighter the traveler held on to his coat.

At last the North Wind said, "I will try no longer, but you, Sun, can do no better."

The Sun said nothing, but came out from under a cloud and smiled down upon the traveler.

"How good that feels!" said the traveler. The Sun shone on. "It is getting warm," said the traveler, unbuttoning his coat.

It was now past noon. "The Sun is too much for me," said the traveler, and he threw off his coat and hunted for a shady place.

The North Wind's harshness had failed. The Sun's gentleness had won.

(from Fifty Famous Fables , by Lida Brown McMurry)

A description of Prophet Muhammad ( Peace and Blessings be upon him)

We came across this wonderful description of Prophet Muhammad ( Peace and Blessings be Upon Him) via this Abdul Hakim article. It is paraphrased from a passage by Imam al-Ghazali, in Book 19 of his Revival of the Religious Sciences, Ihya Ulum al-Din:

‘

The Messenger of God (s) was the mildest of men, but also the bravest and most just of men. He was the most restrained of people; never touching the hand of a woman over whom he did not have rights, or who was not his mahram. He was the most generous of men, so that never did a gold or silver coin spend the night in his house. If something remained at the end of the day, because he had not found someone to give it to, and night descended, he would go out, and not return home until he had given it to someone in need. From what Allah gave him [...] he would take only the simplest and easiest foods: dates and barley, giving anything else away in the path of Allah. Never did he refuse a gift for which he was asked. He used to mend his own sandals, and patch his own clothes, and serve his family, and help them to cut meat. He was the shyest of men, so that his gaze would never remain long in the face of anyone else. He would accept the invitation of a freeman or a slave, and accept a gift, even if it were no more than a gulp of milk, or the thigh of a rabbit, and offer something in return. He never consumed anything given in sadaqa. He was not too proud to reply to a slave-girl, or a pauper in rags. He would become angered for his Lord, never for himself; he would cause truth and justice to prevail even if this led to discomfort to himself or to his companions.

‘He used to bind a stone around his waist out of hunger. He would eat what was brought, and would not refuse any permissible food. If there was dates without bread, he would eat, if there was roast meat, he would eat; if there was rough barley bread, he would eat it; if there was honey or something sweet, he would eat it; if there was only yogurt without even bread, he would be quite satisfied with that.

‘He was not sated, even with barley-bread, for three consecutive days, until the day he met his Lord, not because of poverty, or avarice, but because he always preferred others over himself.

‘He would attend weddings, and visit the sick, and attend funerals, and would often walk among his enemies without a guard. He was the most humble of men, and the most serene, without arrogance. He was the most eloquent of men, without ever speaking for too long. He was the most cheerful of men. He was afraid of nothing in the dunya. He would wear a rough Yemeni cloak, or a woolen tunic; whatever was lawful and was to hand, that he would wear. He would ride whatever was to hand: sometimes a horse, sometimes a camel, sometimes a mule, sometimes a donkey. And at times he would walk barefoot, without an upper garment or a turban or a cap. He would visit the sick even if they were in the furthest part of Madina. He loved perfumes, and disliked foul smells.

‘He maintained affectionate and loyal ties with his relatives, but without preferring them to anyone who was superior to them. He never snubbed anyone. He accepted the excuse of anyone who made an excuse. He would joke, but would never say anything that was not true. He would laugh, but not uproarously. He would watch permissible games and sports, and would not criticise them. He ran races with his wives. Voices would be raised around him, and he would be patient. He kept a sheep, from which he would draw milk for his family. He would walk among the fields of his companions. He never despised any pauper for his poverty or illness; neither did he hold any king in awe simply because he was a king. He would call rich and poor to Allah, without distinction.

‘In him, Allah combined all noble traits of character; although he neither read nor wrote, having grown up in a land of ignorance and deserts in poverty, as a shepherd, and as an orphan with neither father nor mother. But Allah Himself taught him all the excellent qualities of character, and praiseworthy ways, and the stories of the early and the later prophets, and the way to salvation and triumph in the Akhira, and to joy and detachment in the dunya, and how to hold fast to duty, and to avoid the unnecessary. May Allah give us success in obeying him, and in following his sunna.Amin ya rabb al-alamin.‘

Seekers Guidance: Register Now!

Shaykh Faraz teaches at Seekers Guidance. The deadlines for this semester's courses are fast approaching:

12-week courses: Feb 15th - May 10th | $59 | Registration ends March 15th
22-week courses: Feb 15th - July 25th | $99 | Registration ends April 1st

A list of courses is available here!

Dont miss out on this chance to learn with hin. Teachers like him are hard to find: online and offline.

Shaykh Faraz: "This is the sum of success":

 'Verily you have in the Messenger of Allah the most beautiful of examples for whoever seeks Allah and the Last Day and makes much remembrance of Allah.' 

Register Now!

Reflections: Take My Hand

Sidi Nader Khan based his song "Take My Hand on the following story taken from The Duties of Brotherhood in Islam Translated from the Ihya of Imam al-Ghazali Translated Mukhtar Holland.

"It is related in the stories of the People of Israel that two godly brothers were upon a mountain. One of them come down to town to buy a pennyworth of meat. He saw a harlot at the butcher's shop, gazed upon her, fell in love with her, and carried her off to a private place to copulate with her.  After spending three nights with her, he was ashamed to return to his brother in view of his offence.

Meanwhile, his brother missed him and felt concern about him. He descended to the town and kept on asking about him till he was directed to him.  Then he went in and found him sitting with the girl. He embraced him and began kissing him and hugging him, but the other denied all knowledge of him, being so ashamed.  Then he said:

"Come my brother, for I know your condition and your story, yet you were never better loved nor dearer to me than at this moment. "

Now when he realized that what had happened had not lowered him in his brother's eye he arose and went away with him. "  

Listening to Sidi Nader's song "Take My Hand" took a different meaning after reading this story. 

Subhannallah. The song speaks for itself. A lot of times when we see someone ( we know) in a hole, we tend to put them down and make judgements. We also like to attribute "cause and effect" to their condition i.e. thinking/saying that this happened to "so and so" because they did "so and so".  However, when we are in holes or facing a tribulation, we tend to gravitate towards people who don't pass judgements on us. As Sidi Nader says if we really love them and if we really care about them we would or should say:

"Take my hand, come with me / I won’t judge, won’t put you down / While you lie, down on the ground / Take your time, I’ll hang around / Take my hand, come with me"

We have all faced trails and tribulations based on which people around us have formed opinions on us. A lot of times these opinions seem to be unfair or at least based on a bunch of assumptions, which make us want to think: " Oh man, I wish they really knew what I went through". As the saying goes "   Treat others like you would like to be treated."  Sidi Nader says:

"Take my hand, come with me / I don’t know how I would fare / If your trials, I was to bear / But your burden, do let me share / Take my hand, come with me /"

Along the same line of thought, its hard to forgive someone when one has been wronged. Whats even harder is to start a relationship with the same person with a clean slate. However, as Muslims we are commanded to show mercy to people since we are constantly under the infinite mercy of Allah. Sidi Nader says:

"Take this hate out of your heart / It’s alright that we’ve grown apart / Let’s give this thing a brand new start / Take my hand, come with me /"

Sometimes when we land in a problems, we tend to blame circumstances and the people around us. However, as Muslims we are supposed to have Rida. We are supposed to be content. We are supposed to have a good opinion of Allah for he puts us in situations and things happen because He willed it to  happen.  We are only responsible for taking the means. We should not worry ourselves with outcomes for they are in his hands. As a scholar said beautifully when we point one finger of blame there are three other fingers pointed towards ourselves. Sidi Nader says:

"Turn your anger, your glowing rage / Against yourself, break out of the cage / Write your story, on a brand new page / Take my hand, come with me /"

Along the same lines as before ( of not passing judgment on others too quickly), Sidi Nader says:

" I won’t shout, I’ll stay composed / This is where, you need me most / It’s not too late, the door hasn’t closed / Take my hand, come with me /"

When we act as a support for people we love, we may start thinking that since we are the "support", we must be better then them. One really has to be humble when one helps other people. For if Allah had willed we could have been them and they could have been us. Besides, we are in constant need of help of the One above so who are we to think that we are better then "so and so". Sidi Nader put its beautifully ( and this is my favourite part):

 "And if i stumble, as I walk with you / I’ll take your hand, oh I’ll come with you / I’ll need your strength, to pull me through / But now take my hand, and now come with me /

Amazing song. For more information on Sidi Nader, visit www.naderkhan.com

Cast down your bucket...

A lot of times we worry and want to know about things about which we really cant do much about. Information for it's own sake is useless  unless one uses it to change oneself and/or change the conditions (for the better) around one.

I was once taught about two circles we have around us: 1. The circle of concern and 2. The circle of influence. The circle of concern is the bigger circle over which we typically dont have much influence. However, the circle of influence is a circle of things within our hands over which we can potentially have a much bigger impact. If we keep focussing on things that are far from us we will probabaly be losing valuable energy, time and resources. ( and  get furstrated as well). The things far away may be important but given our limited influence, it is prudent that we should instead focus on things which Allah has placed within our grasp.

Imam Zaid has quoted Brooker T. Washington many times in his lectures:

"A ship lost at sea for many days suddenly sighted a friendly vessel. From the mast of the unfortunate vessel was seen a signal: “Water, water. We die of thirst.” The answer from the friendly vessel at once came back: “Cast down your bucket where you are.” A second time, the signal, “Water, send us water!” went up from the distressed vessel. And was answered: “Cast down your bucket where you are.” A third and fourth signal for water was answered: “Cast down your bucket where you are.” The captain of the distressed vessel, at last heeding the injunction, cast down his bucket and it came up full of fresh, sparkling water from the mouth of the Amazon River."

The dogs bark...

"Dogs bark, but the caravan moves on."

C.S. Lewis: We Have No "Right to Happiness"

A great article by C.S. Lewis:

"It is part of the nature of a strong erotic passion—as distinct from a transient fit of appetite—that it makes more towering promises than any other emotion. No doubt all our desires make promises, but not so impressively. To be in love involves the almost irresistible conviction that one will go on being in love until one dies, and that possession of the beloved will confer, not merely frequent ecstasies, but settled, fruitful, deep-rooted, lifelong happiness. Hence all seem to be at stake. If we miss this chance we shall have lived in vain. At the very thought of such a doom we sink into fathomless depths of self-pity.

Unfortunately these promises are found often to be quite untrue. Every experienced adult knows this to be so as regards all erotic passions (except the one he himself is feeling at the moment). We discount the world-without-end pretensions of our friends' amours easily enough. We know that such things sometimes last—and sometimes don't. And when they do last, this is not because they promised at the outset to do so. When two people achieve lasting happiness, this is not solely because they are great lovers but because they are also—I must put it crudely—good people; controlled, loyal, fairminded, mutually adaptable people."

Read more

Abdul Hakim Murad on Muslim Youth in the West

We were listening to a recent interview of Shaykh Abdul Hakim Murad on the the BBC. He said something about muslim youth in the west which really struck a cord with us:

Abdul Hakim Murad: "The Problem that one faces with a lot of young people is that they say 'Why should we integrate into a society that obviously hates us so much? They don’t respect anything that is distinctive about Islam, so why should we (integrate)?'  Thats a good argument."

The BBC Presenter: "So whats the answer?"

Abdul Hakim Murad: " The answer is never mind what they think about you, trust in God. Islam is a religion which wants it's members to succeed, to be positive neighbors, to be part of the national endeavor.   And whether or not people like you at the workplace, whether or not they bully you in the police or the armed forces, you just have to trust in God and your faith in God. If it's real faith in God, (it) should enable you to deal with any obstacles that might come your way."

Knowledge and understanding

"Perhaps we know more about the world then we used to and insofar as knowledge is prerequisite to understanding, that is all to the good. But knowledge is not as much a prerequisite to understanding as is commonly supposed. We do not have to know everything about something in order to understand it; too many facts are often as much of an obstacle to understanding as too few.  There is a sense in which we moderns are inundated with facts to the detriment of understanding." 

Mortimer J. Adler and Charles Van Doren in "How to Read a Book"

Balance

We were at a seminar on Balance recently. Before the seminar began, the moderator asked us to stand on one foot. First on our right foot and then on our left foot. 

After we finished, we were asked what we needed to keep our balance while standing on one foot. Most answers form people related to two things: 1) Focus and 2) Support.

i.e. One needs to focus on what one is doing to keep balance. If one loses focus of what one is doing then one may fall out of balance.  This shows the importance of intention and a goal in every day actions and tasks.  This may require self knowledge and reflection.

One may need the support of a table or a peer to keep standing on one foot. Same is true in real life. We need to kepp the company of people who help us in our balance and who provide us support. We should not be around people who move away just when we need thier support. Plus we need to be the support to others when they need us. It is important to keep good company.