A "70 excuse" exercise

The other day a friend and myself were waiting for someone near a subway station. The two people we were waiting for were late by quite a bit.  While waiting, we decided to count 70 excuses for the people being late.  Making 10 excuses was easy, but it was struggle after that and we were having to be very creative. By the time we got to 21, the individuals we were waiting for arrived.  It turned out one of the excuses we made was actually true.  The struggle to make so many excuses made one reflect on how much benefit of doubt one has to give other people. The teaching of making 70 excuses is sourced from what follows:

Hamdun al-Qassar, one of the great early Muslims, as narrated by Imam Bayhaqi in his Shu`ab al-Iman [7.522] said: exercise

"If a friend among your friends errs, make seventy excuses for them. If your hearts are unable to do this, then know that the shortcoming is in your own selves[ibid]"

Shaykh Faraz comments:

This is because the default assumption about all humans and their actions is that they are sound and free of error. This is considered our operating certainty.

After this, if we find something that makes us doubt about them, we are not permitted to leave this operating certainty that they did not err for mere doubts or misgivings.

Allah Most High commanded us:

"O you who believe! Shun much doubt; for lo! some doubt is sinful." [Quran, 49.12]

The doubts and misgivings about others that are sinful are those that do not have a sound basis that would be sufficient to leave our operating assumption about others that they are upright and their actions free of error.

Amazing new Nasheed Artist: Nader Khan singing at RIS-2008

A new nasheed artist from the Toronto area-alhamdulillah. He will be singing at Reviving the Islamic Spirit Bazaar stage. His CDs will be on sale at different booths as well. 10 signed copies of the CD will also be available at RIS.

Nader Khan-He sings with his voice and heart. Mashahallah.

Clips of his nasheeds from his upcoming album on his facebook page:

http://www.facebook.com/pages/Nader-Khan/35891137163

His website:

http://www.naderkhan.com/

Nader Khan is a Canadian Muslim singer/songwriter, who grew up in India and Saudi Arabia. He's been performing in the GTA since he first arrived in Canada in the early nineties. His first album is scheduled to release later this month (Dec 2008) at the RIS 2008 Convention in Toronto.

Nader produces his albums through Relief Works, a unique initiative that promotes local and international relief efforts via Islamic music and arts, in pursuit of Divine pleasure through beauty, excellence, and service of His creation.

Book Review: Outliers by Malcolm Gladwell

Outliers is an insightful, thought-provoking and engaging book. It answers questions and dispels myths about success which often boggle our minds.

The book's core theme is that while skill and talent is an important ingredient for success , it is just one among many ingredients. Other important factors for success are things like opportunity, luck (in being placed in circumstances that were just right for success), lineage (!) and hard work.

Gladwell backs his arguments with concrete examples and research which helps one being convinced of what he is saying.

A must read book for sure. Read his interview about the book here in which he says:

"When outliers become outliers it is not just because of their own efforts. It's because of the contributions of lots of different people and lots of different circumstances— and that means that we, as a society, have more control about who succeeds—and how many of us succeed—than we think. That's an amazingly hopeful and uplifting idea."

You can read a book extract here.

As a Muslim, one reads this and really starts believing success is not of one's own doing-it is Allah placing us in the right place at the right time with the right people-though his mercy.

And Allah alone gives success.

Jemal Jelil: The Top 3 Reasons Why Marriages Fail For Men"

Jemal Jelil from JustHusbands.com:

The Top 3 Reasons Why Marriages Fail For Men"

Before I list why marriages fail for men, lemme define what I mean by a man's marriage failing.

What I mean here when I say that a marriage fails is that your wife has lost interest in you. Or at least, she's not as interested in you as you'd like.

If it gets bad, she eventually expresses her disinterest in you by either: a) wanting to leave you, or b) cheating on you.

And it may happen in degrees, but to whatever extent she's disinterested, the marriage is failing.

So if you want to keep her interest, don't let these 3 reasons why marriages fail happen to you:

READ HERE

Just Husbands dot com

A local friend who has been married for many years has started a blog/website for husbands ( or those preparing to be husbands). He gives a lot of practical advice. I would encourage you all to check his website out:

website: www.justhusbands.com
blog: http://www.happy-marriage-for-men.com/happy-marriage-blog.html

Hatim al-Assamm on the Prayer.

It is related of Hatim al-Assamm, may God be pleased whim, that he said, in answer to a question about Prayer: ' When the time of prayer is at hand, I make a proper ablution, go to the spot where I intend to pray and sit there till all my limbs and organs are in a collected state. Then I stand to preform my Prayer, placing Ka'ba between my brows, the Bride-over-Hell beneath my feat, Paradise to my right and Hell to my left, and the Angel of Death behind me, thinking all the while that this is my final Prayer. Then I stand between hope and fear, I carefully pronounce " Allahu Akbar!" Then I recite the Quran harmoniously, bow in humility and prostrate myself submissively. I then sit on my left haunch, spreading out the top of my left foot and raising my right foot on the toes. I follow this with sincerity. Then I wonder whether or not my Prayer has been accepted.'

Taken from Imam Ghazlai's Inner Dimensions of Islamic Worship translated by Mukhtar Holland.

Sacred Knowledge is like food...

We love to compare food with Sacred Knowledge and see how we can understand the intake of Sacred Knowledge better:

Food has to be taken in the right proportions from the hands of the right people (cooks).
Sacred Knowledge has to be taken in the right proportions from the hands of the right people (scholars).

Overeating of food can harm one if one does not have the capacity at the time one eats it.
Over-intake of Sacred Knowledge can harm one if one does not have the capacity at the time one learns it.

The best food is the healthy food which your body can use in the most useful way.
The most suitable Sacred Knowledge is that which you can use in the most useful way (i..e. apply it).

Different methods of cooking foods may have the same base ingredients but the skill of the teacher is in combining these sources in a way that it becomes easy to eat.
Different methods of teaching Islamic Sciences may have the same base sources but the skill of the teacher is in combining these sources in a way that it becomes easy to learn.


If you were eating food, you need to know what you are eating to know the the real blessing it is.
If you were learning Sacred Knowledge, you need to know (the value of) what you are learning to know the the real blessing it is.

There is a right time for everything. Desert always comes after the main dish.
There is a right time for everything. Complicated sciences are learnt after one's foundations


Best food is that which you can actually digest not one that you just stare at.
Best Sacred Knowledge is that which you can apply not one that you just "awe" at.

Food needs enzymes.
Sacred Knowledge needs Scholars.

Some food can harm you if you don't eat it properly
Some Sacred Knowledge can harm you if you don't learn it properly.

Parents worry about your food.
Teachers ( your spiritual parents) worry about your Sacred Knowledge.

Put your money where your mouth is. You have to make spend to get good food.
Put your heart where your akhira is. You have to expend yourself to learn Sacred Knowledge.

You have too love and revere the cooks who cook for you.
You have to love and revere the teachers who teach you.

Be thankful to Allah for access to food. There are many who don't have it.
Be thankful to Allah for access to Sacred Knowledge. There are many who don't have it.

Actions are by their intentions. Intend highly when you eat ( i.e. for the sake of Allah).
Actions are by their intentions. Intend highly when you learn (i.e. for the sake of Allah).

(Roti)

Shaykh Faraz on the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him)'s example and state

Shaykh Faraz quoted Sahl ibn Abd Allah al-Tustari who said:

"Reliance on Allah was the state of the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) and taking the means was his example. So whoever claims his state should follow his example."

Punjabi Wise Says 8: Teeth and Grain

Jeney Dand ditey neyn
oh chaban laee danay vee deysi

He who has given us teeth
will also give us grain to eat

This saying tells us about the unmeasurable power of our Creator and our need of reliance on Him. Our job is to try (i.e. take the means) and have hope up in him ( not have hope in ourself). We should not think that He has lack of anything that we need. He knows our needs and knows how/when/where to fulfill them.

"..Hasbi Allaah wa ni 'am al-wakeel"
"For us Allah sufficeth, and He is the best disposer of affairs." (Quran 3:173)

Shaykh Zahir: On Ignorance

Alhamdaulillah, Shaykh Zahir defined ignorance while covering Hikam 35 today . He said:

"Ignorance is satisfaction with one's own ignorance"

Subhanallah.

Shaykh Abd al-Rahman al-Shaghouri on taking means

Shaykh Abd al-Rahman al-Shaghouri said:

"Taking the means is necessary, and denying that they're effective is necessary. Whoever doesn't take the means is denying Divine Wisdom; and whoever relies on them has associated partners with Allah."

Seekers Guidance-Shaykh Faraz

Alhamdulillah, Seekers' Guidance courses go live today. I dont know of a better teacher than Shaykh Faraz.

Given my love of food, I look at him as a enzyme on sacred knowledge who breaks it down into digestable chunks which one can then digest and use to one's benefit inshahallah.

Check out his online courses here. A flyer is attached below:

Oyee Motay...Obesity

Wow....Hai Allah!

"For the first time in human history, the number of overweight people rivals the number of underweight people.… While the world's underfed population has declined slightly since 1980 to 1.1 billion, the number of overweight people has surged to 1.1 billion...."

Read on: Anup Shah, Obesity, GlobalIssues.org

...the weather today is

How we view the weather can tell us something about ourselves....

Different weather conditions favor and harm different people. When we come across any kind of weather condition, is our first thought "how it will affect us?" and not " "how it will help or benefit someone else?". Of course, one does need to take the means of dressing/driving ( and etc.) appropriately when facing different kinds of weather. However that is different then labeling certain kinds of weather categorically good or bad just because one will experience benefit or harm through the weather condition at hand on a personal level.

One should appreciate most weather conditions as they are a blessing of Allah SWT ( most kinds of weather do have some positive to them barring storms and the like, from which one should seek Protection from Allah). Despite it being a good "conversation starter", complaining about different weather conditions will not really change anything.

Lets work on the internal weather of our heart.....and nurture it in a good climate....

Shaykh Ramzy: Wudu and his teacher

Yesterday, Shaykh Ramzy mentioned that his teacher Shaykh Abdullah al-Haddad will be in town for approximately a month starting Tuesday, alhamdaulillah.

Hence, Shaykh Ramzy said--- that he cant do the halaqa next week ( since his Shaykh will be here). He said one cannot make Tayamum when there is water to do wudu with. Subhanallah.

After hearing that, we were all in awe of the adab that Shaykh Ramzy has towards his teacher. May Allah grant us with better adab towards our teachers.

Shaykh Ramzy: On knowing the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him)

A couple of weeks ago our teacher Shaykh Ramzy gave an introduction to a talk by Shaykh Talal on Shamail at a local Mawlid which was organized by a brother who was getting married that weekend. Shaykh Ramzy said many things but the following three things stuck with us:

1. He said that the more you hear about the Prophet ( Peace and Blessings be upon him), the more you love him and the more you love him the more you want to hear about him.
2. He told us that the Shamail is an an important text because its a means for us to know the Prophet ( peace and blessings be upon him). He said that if you are passionate about cars, then you will know all the details about cars--whats a good car-how should a good car run..how fast..etc. (Din was thinking about his love of Rotee at this point!). In the same way, we should strive to learn more about the Prophet ( peace and blesisngs be upon him), if we really love him. i.e. the way he was, the way he ate, the way he looked and the list is endless. Subhanallah.
   
3. He looked at Brother "brother" who was getting married and said: " You cannot be too extreme in loving the Prophet ( peace and blessings be upon him), however, you can be extreme in loving your spouse.."
   

May Allah SWT preserve our Shuyukh.

..thoughts on poverty...

Its been more than 7 years since I moved back to Canada. As some of you know I spent most of my childhood in Pakistan. Growing up in a third world country meant that one could see poverty all around one, even in an insulated place like the capital city-Islamabad. However, growing up in a place like that also desensitizes one to poverty.

Like most upper middle class families in Pakistan, we used to have maids come to our house to clean up. A lot of these maids would have 5 to 10 children and barely enough money to get by for the next few days. Most of the time, they would be forced to make their children work as well which would mean that the children would not be educated-hence continuing the cycle of poverty. However, having said that, its not a given that education does lead to employment in Pakistan. Who a person know can not only help one get a job, it can also help one keep one's job even while underperforming, Further, the quality of education that most poor people can afford is not enough for them to come out with skills to earn an employment which would help them move up the economic ladder. So while poverty makes it difficult for children to get education, the attainment of education doesn't guarantee freedom from poverty either.Its a vicious cycle to be stuck in. I would say that developed countries offer better opportunities to move up the economic ladder-however, no place is perfect.

Part of the problem with poverty is that it is only a symptom of other root systemic problems i.e. corruption, famine, drought, natural disasters, war, economic colonialism, etc. These issues are too complex to come up with a "one solution for all." An African person I know told me recently that the problem with a lot of foreign aid is that the people giving the aid do not understand the local conditions and do not understand that these conditions can vary even within a few hundred kilometres in the same country.

Another interesting spin on poverty is that it is actually something we constantly ask Allah to save us from. Why? Well if you have no money to sustain yourself, it really becomes hard not to focus on the worldly pursuits. Your entire focus becomes your livelihood on a day to day basis and that can potentially be very (spiritually) harmful. Muslims are obligated to give 2.5 % of our savings to poor Muslims on a annual basis.

Further we are constantly encouraged to spend on those less fortunate then us. In spending on these people, we don't only help them in this world , we also help ourselves focus on what really matters ( i.e. the reality after death). Further, Muslims are also encouraged to look at people who have less then us when it comes to wealth in this world and not look at people who have more. We thank Allah for not having put us in a smilar situation and part of that thankfulness is that we give to the poor, make dua for them and also find other ways to help them because there are many ( some are listed by Sister Aminah on her web page).

...on gratitude...

Note: This has been written for the Gratitude blog festival.

Alhamdaulillah, we have just finished another month of Ramadan in our lives. During a Khatam on the 29th night at our local masjid, the imam mentioned how we should be thankful that we still have the blessing of being alive whereas we all know people who were with us last year but were not here with us.

Since Ramadan finished we found out that someone we knew had been diagnosed with a life threatening brain tumor in her brain. Another person we know had her first baby recently and yesterday we learnt that while on maternity she lost her husband to cancer. And here we were getting caught up, worked up abot the real small every day issues that were really insignificant when compared to the challenges other people were facing. There is a lot to be thankful for.

Alhamdulillah, it only takes a small tummy ache or cold to make one feel terrible. Alhamdulillah, that most of us (reading this) feel well most of the time and have no major health issues.

One can be thankful for the fact that one is free to move about and free to say the truth. There are many places in the world where people are not free to move ( i.e. in jail), and, the reason is that they spoke the truth!

There are several people who die from hunger every day or have to walk miles to fetch water. It is a blessing to be able to afford to eat, which also relates to being thankful that we have the money to buy the food. Alhamdulillah for the halal rizq.

There are people who lose their parents and loved ones at a young age due to disease, war or other conditions. Alhamdaulillah that most of us have our loved ones to lean on.

It is a blessing to be able to communicate in the language of one's land and community.

We all know people who cant speak at all or cant speak well enough to communicate what they feel.

Alhamdaulillah, there are many people who are not thankful for what they have. They look at the glass with water and see the part that is empty. As Muslims we should believe that the glass is always full and when the water in the glass decreases the glass size also decreases i.e. the glass is always full ( and that will ultimately increase the glass size). One of the leading scholars of our time says that the best way to increase our rizq is to be thankful.

Who do we thank? The expression of thankfulness is to people around us. As the hadith goes "Whoever does not thank people does not thank Allah". However, the ultimate thankfulness should be expressed to Allah and the best way to express that thankfulness is to use Allah's gifts as he desires them.. Alhamdulillah...

Seekers Guidance: Shaykh Faraz

Shaykh Faraz has been a blessing for many of us in our lives. Alhmaddulillah, he is one of those teachers who can take a complicated concept and deliver in a way that it becomes a easy action item. Moreover he delivers the material with humor and good examples which solidify one's understanding. Shaykh Faraz is currently teaching at Seeker's Guidance which has programs on the ground and also online. Some details are listed below:

Online:

SeekersGuidance (www.SeekersGuidance.com), the Online Islamic Educational Portal of Shaykh Faraz Rabbani, has just launched its fall courses in:

1. Islamic Law (Fiqh)

2. Beliefs & Understanding (Aqida)

3. Prophetic Guidance

4. Qur'anic Studies

Course Format: Conveniently downloadable lessons.

Course Texts: Text translations, lesson handouts, review questions, and other related readings will be provided upon course opening.

Registration is now open!

First 10 registrants in each course get an early bird 20% discount
First 5 registrants in each course also get
a free copy of "The Branches of Faith: Bringing Faith to Life" (a 4-lesson set)
Returning students registering in any course get
a free copy of Imam Ghazali on "Organizing Your Religious Routines"
Courses to commence from Friday, Oct 17th 2008

REGISTER TODAY!

Join the SeekersGuidance Newsletter mailing list or Facebook group for regular updates!

www.SeekersGuidance.com

Relevant Courses | Clear Answers | Inspiring Media

For further information, please email us at

info@seekersguidance.com

__________________________________________

On the Ground:

SeekersGuidance Halaqa in Mississauga, Ontario

with Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Wednesday Nights | Oct 8th to Dec 31st | 6pm to 9:15pm

Shalimar Community Centre

3024 Cedarglen Gate, Mississauga

@ Mavis & Dundas

Covering:

• Understanding Halal & Haram
• Imam Nawawi's Riyad al-Salihin
• Absolute Essentials of Islam

Contact:

Umm Umar (Shireen Ahmed)
SeekersGuidance Administration
shireenfatima@seekersguidance.com

Abdul Hakim Murad:Contentions 13

Mashahallah. Just awed at Shaykh Abdul Hakim Murad's depth, eloquence and wisdom. May Allah preserve him. Contentions 13 are out!

Here are my favorites ( from the small number I understand):

5. You cannot grow out of your culture, but you can help it to grow.


44. Show yourself yourself; then He will show Himself Himself.

70. Pay attention, and trust in God.


71. Know that your plans are written on water.

78. The world is the way it is because you are the way you are.

81. 'Fear of God is knowledge enough. To be pleased with one's knowledge is ignorance enough.' (Bint Umm Hassan)

91. Respect the insights that can only be expressed by humour.

92. Pride is the crown of the ignorant.

93. Traditional Islam is not the replication of the positions of the ancients; it is to seek what they sought.

94. Look within, and what is outside you will become clear. Look around you, and you will understand yourself.

99. A little worship with sincerity is all of religion; abundant worship for the sake of one's image of oneself is nothing at all.

100. Modernity finds it hard to distinguish between rest and idleness.

Why we study the Prophet's Chracter ( Peace and Blessings be upon him)

Some of us had the good fortune of spending the 27th night of Ramadan at Risalah Foundation this year, alhamdulillah wa shukrillah. It was a memorable night filled with much baraka.

One of the special parts of that night was where a few of us sat down with Shaykh Ramzy and had a wonderful Q & A ( generally about Ikhlaq) . In our discussions, the topic of knowing one's faults came up.

The discussion spiraled towards the Prophet (Peace and blessings be upon him). One of the reasons to study the Prophet's (Peace and blessings be upon him) character is to have something to measure our own character against. For one to measure dimensions on anything, one needs to know the units and one needs to have measuring tool. SO essentially the Prophet's (Peace and blessings be upon him) character is our measuring tool ( one which goes till infinity). And this is why we should strive to know about him and learn about him, so, we know, how much and where we lack.

For us its a difference in magnitudes. If, the Prophet's ( Peace and Blessings be upon him) character is measured in kilometres then our characters are measured in nanometres. May Allah SWT help us to learn, implement and improve!

Irin News: PAKISTAN: The darker side of glittering bangles

Sad to read about this:

LAHORE, 29 September 2008 (IRIN) - Eid al-Fitr, the holiday marking the end of the Muslim month of fasting, provides an annual boost for the glass bangles' industry, but behind the glittering bangles lies another story - one of child labour, poverty, deprivation and hardship.

READ ON

Rickshaw Diaries: Changing our Condition

Baraka Bajee from Rickshaw Diaries really summarizes the situation in Pakistan beautifully:

Of the people closest to where the bomb goes off they say there is nothing left but a pink mist to mark that a human once lived and breathed there. Further away and you begin to see shredded skin and disembodied limbs lodged in treetops. Then, burned corpses and dazed survivors.

Six years ago when I worked at a Boston-based human rights organization one of our areas of focus was the Occupied Territories - Palestine. The topic of suicide bombings and whether they were valid instruments of defense sometimes came up with family members and other Pakistanis. Many of them thought that even when used against civilians it was justified because of the miserable living conditions of the Palestinians and their lack of weapons against a well-equipped, occupying army.

READ ON

Islamabad Blast

Just learnt about the bomb blast in Islamabad. Its probably the most sad I have felt about something since the Pakistan earthquake in 2005. It really hurts when you see the places you associated with-while growing up-disintergrate, causing numerous casulties in the process.

The immediate problem is the blast, but, I guess what really makes one sad is that the root of the problem remains. In fact, the US attacks over the last few weeks have been adding fuel to the fire.

It really started going south after the Lal Masjid issue last summer when the authorities opted for a "forceful solution". To me, that really blew up the whole problem and we are where we stand today.

As things stand today, bombing the heck out of the tribal areas in West Pakistan is NOT solving anything. I dont think the US has learnt lessons in Iraq? As Owen Bennett Jones says in his recent report on Pakistan:

"There is, I think, universal agreement amongst Pakistanis that, if the US continues to rely so heavily on military firepower in Afghanistan, and increasingly in Pakistan too, then the Taleban will win."

And thats exactly the point. May Allah make it easy for everyone.

A Cup of Cofee

A nice article found on SunniPath:

You will never look at a cup of coffee the same way again. A young woman went to her mother and talk her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as one problem was solved a new one arose. Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled 3 pots with water. In the 1st, she placed carrots, in the 2nd she placed eggs and in the last she placed ground coffee beans.

READ ON

Good reads: Google, Muslims and practing what we preach

These articles are good articles I came across recently:

Is Google making us stupid?

About the pitfalls of being wired in current times.

Dont Worry we are going to do something?

Umm Zaid about the failure of Muslims to be honest with themselves

Pratice what you preach
A nice article about how to do what you say and vice versa

Arranged vs. Love marriage?

This article from CSM has forced me to blog about marriage again.

Whisper the words "arranged marriage," and images of women signed over as chattel are likely to rise in the minds of many Westerners. But, say culture watchers and sociologists, there's a rising interest in this age-old practice in the West, as shown by at least two books and three upcoming television series on the topic – as well as a growing number of matchmaking sites devoted solely to arranging unions.

I think it comes down to balance. In the west, people are counting on too much love before marriage, where as, in the ( traditional) east people are counting on too much love after marriage. there is a line somewhere in between.

You cant find everything you want in that one single person before marriage. The consumer society we live in makes us think that there is a person ( product?) out there who meets all our criterion. The problem with trying to fit someone within your great expectations is many-fold. One, is that this may be self delusional. The person who may seem perfect today may only do so because your search for idealism has given you temporary sun glasses from which you like to see someone. However when those sun glasses disappear and reality sets in, things may appear different then they were. Unfortunately, this product ( person?) cant be returned to customer service to get a new and approved product. there are many emotional strings once your in a emotional, intellectual, physical, spiritual and cultural relationship with a person. Whats more, if you leave this person today, whats the guarantee that you will find someone better? Customer Service does not have perfect products. Also, this "apparently perfect" person will react and change under different circumstances and scenarios. You cant test all of these before marriage. i.e. at some point the person will fail your ideal standards, what will you do then? You are looking for "this" and "that". Okay! But are you perfect yourself? The love in a love marriage should also include how much love one is likely to have for the spouse's family after marriage. No matter what, one has to deal with spouse's family. You cant expect your spouse to be ignoring his/her family.

On the other hand you have the arranged marriage (for this post, lets assume it was arranged through family). You may not even see the person before you get married. Even if you see the person you may only literally see the person (i.e. you may not talk). the problem with that in the urban environments of today is that it may be too risky. Gone are the days when you could judge a person by how their family was. TV, internet and other societal factors have numbed the influence of a family in raising their child up. A good family could have a child who is bad and vice versa. Another issue is that today's popular culture encourages one to think in black and white terms i.e. either a person is perfect or he/she is evil. So a person could go into a arranged marriage with an ideal picture of what the spouse should be, only to be extremely disappointed later on when he/she realizes that the person cannot meet the "Standard"( this point has parallels with love marriage..). Also there is a difference between getting someone's input and/or letting them decide (probably) the most important step of your life. One needs to have a say in one's own marriage!

So I guess that leaves us searching for a line somewhere in the middle where you don't know everything about a person yet you should know what matters to you--and one should know there is no "perfect ladoo man or ladoo woman" out there. You will have to adjust yourself and so will they--but you just want to find out the best you can about them in the minimum amount of time before marriage and reasonably predict what compromises you may have to be ready for..We of course want do it in a halal way as well and also minimize emotional connections. Also, one should make sure that the families are somewhat comfortable with another ( or maybe you need to push them to get comfortable?) You cant specify the number of meetings you need with the individual and the family. It really depends on how fast everyone can get comfortable with the idea. It may also depend on how fast the person can learn how to make rotee..! Allah hu alam...

Ramadan Mubarek ( and some links)

Ramadan Mubarek to everyone! Inshahallah we all have a fruitful Ramadan!

We were lucky to get a reminder from Shaykh Abdul Hakim Murad through BBC's thought of the day. Here is the amazing end of the "thought". The full text can be read here:

Yesterday, I returned to my endless conflict with the weeds in my garden. I know that when tackling the mortal enemy that is ground elder, or convolvulus, I have two options. Either I slice it off at ground level, which is quick, and fun, but allows it to reappear all too soon. Or I reach for the roots, which takes time and effort.

Weak human beings, Muslim or not, know that long training is needed before we gain the patience to uproot our tendency to crave and yearn for what is unnecessary. Fasting, in Ramadan, is a rigorous discipline, an opportunity to gain in self-restraint. We are unlikely to abolish the weeds in our souls, but when properly trained by this annual endurance event, we can keep them under control, and hope that, with God's help, we can start to enjoy the experience of detachment.

Keeping with Abdul Hakim Murad, here is a old Ramadan speech with him. It is a "must listen" for sure. One thing which he said which really stuck in my head was that a fast is sabar during the day and shukr during the night...

Zaytuna has a nice section on Ramadan on their website. In one of the articles on their site Imam Zaid quotes a poem:

How many deceased people have you known who fasted?

Amongst your family, neighbors, and brothers.

Death has erased them, leaving you behind.

Get serious [about your religion], for the living are quite close to the dead!

You take delight in the 'Eid outfits being cut out now for the festival.

But soon they will be your burial shrouds.

How long will the person be happy with his worldly home?

Knowing that his ultimate home is the grave.[1]

Shaykh Abdul Sattar also has a nice Ramadan Audio section on his website. His speeches are motivating mashahallah.

SunniPath has a Imam Ghazali text translation on the Inner Dimensions of Fasting. It also has nice collection of answers on Fiqh of Fasting.

Shaykh ABdul Kareem Yahya also has a very inspring message for Ramadan

SHaykh Faraz Rabbani has uploaded last week's Wednesday halaqa as a course. It is a MUST Listen as well.

May Allah SWT bless our Ramadan!

Punjabi Wise Sayings 7: one plus one is....

Bhukhey noon aakhyaaa ik te ik
os aakhyaa do Rotayaan

A hungry man was asked " What is one plus one"
He replied "two rotees"

The above is a simple saying with a lot of depth. When one is in need of something that is what all one thinks about. Actually it is interesting that one of the intentions that scholars say one can have in feeding oneself ( or working so one can feed oneself) is that one does it so that one can focus on Allah and not think of the need one has for food.

Another way to look at this is how things vary from different people's perspectives. So that means even a simple question like "one plus one" can have multiple answers depending on who you ask . So when one seeks an answer to a question, one should take the means to ask the right person. Also one lays down the question so that the person asked can move away form his/her box and think of it in the "terms" you are thinking about it.

May Allah grant us tawfiq in our communciations!

Book Review: The Omnivore's Dilemma

Alhamdaulillah, I am glad that I was pointed towards "The Omnivore's Dilemma" by Michael Pollan about a year ago. My trips to the grocery store have not been the same since I had started reading this book. I just finished it last week.

Pollan looks at how the "industrialization" of food sources has led to a decline in the quality of food we are getting. In order to simplify the food chain ( and to make profit) , we are losing out on a lot of the benefits of the food and in the process we are being inhumane towards nature ( i.e. animals, land, soil, plants, etc). Pollen also talks about the economics of food processing and how that helps companies profit. He then shows a link between between obesity and profit making! There are a few chapters about the history of the Organic food market and how it has also been comercialized ( i.e. compromised).

A must read book which will change your outlook on food ( or give you "food" for thought anyways)...

Shaykh Ramzy: the mountain and valley

During one of the sessions at Qurba, Shaykh Ramzy gave an analogy on how we should be. He said we should be like the valley not like the mountain.

i.e. We should be humble and low so that we can collect all the rain water . The valley is the place which is fertile, where the water flows and where the vegetations grows. The mountain ( is high) yet their tops are bare.....

Qurba Quotes...Shayh Faraz and Shaykh Zahir

This weekened I am at Razi's Qurba event. I am unable to attend many of the sessions but have gotten glimpses of the brilliance of our tradition....in what I have been able to attend..

Two great quotes from the sessions

Shaykh Faraz said " The lover knows The Beloved"

Shaykh Zahir quoted a scholar " Act on what you know and Allah will bestow upon you what you do not know"

Hatim Al-Assam Quote

Shaykh Abdul Hakim Murad mentions a quote from Hatim Al Assam in his CD set Al-Ghazali : Remembrance of Death & Afterlife Audio CD Boxed Set by Abdul Hakim Murad (Dr. T. J. Winter)

Work for this world in proportion to the time your going to spend in it
Work for the next world in proportion to the time your going to spend in it
Work for the fire for the fire in proportion to how much patience you would have in it
Work for Allah in proportion to your need of him

Cool Blog: 40 days and 40 nights in Yemen

A really cool blog which details the life of a student at Dowra 2008 in Tarim.

"Tarim feels like a different world; it makes you want to be a better person. You're better not because you feel everyone is better so you imitate them blindly, but because Tarim somhow inexplicably gives you an extra drive—almost as if the very air is embodied with little spiritual 'infusions.' It sounds silly when I read it, and I know I'm being repetitive, but it's true."


"There must be bad people in Tarim, it's not paradise and I'm not naive enough to think there aren't any. But here, you feel that the inherent goodness in people, the fitra (priomordial nature), is truly present, and not buried like it is with so many of us in this day and age. And it's a goodness that I'm sure needs no religion—an atheist could come here and still be moved by these people, who truly embody the spirit of al-Ethar so much more than I could ever dream of being: They give away what they have to others, even if they need it, and are happy about it."

Scholarly quotes from the blog:

"The secret of knowledge is acting upon it. The secret of dhikr is copious amounts of it. The secret of prayer is presence in it." Habib Kathim.

"Don't sin and say: 'God will forgive me, He is Merciful and Forgiving.' Yes, he His, but don't be like the fisherman who sits on the shore and waits for a jewel to land in his lap. Yes, the sea is full of jewels but you have to go seek it. So if you sin you need to seek forgiveness for your actions. You need to shamar [roll up your sleeves] and be diligent. " Habib Kathim.

"Just like you die if you stay three days without water, your heart will die if it stays three days without listening to anything that reminds you of Allah, whether it is Qur'an recitations, lectures etc. So what if you're not only not listening to things that remind you of Allah, but listening to things that make you forget Him? " Habib Umar

Go check it out!

A must-listen lecture on extremism

A must listen Radical Middle Way lecture by Dr. Umer Farooq titled "Islamic Extremism in the context of Globalism". We have rarely heard a lecture dissecting the issue of extremism better then how Dr. Umer does it in this lecture...I would even go as far as recommending it to my non Muslim colleagues who are curious about Islamic extremism.

Expectations..

It really becomes disappointing when we set high expectations of "someone or something "and then that "someone or something" fails to meet our lofty expectations. At that point, one has to question oneself: if the fault was with that "someone or something" or was it with our own expectations?

The expectations can be faulty because they were unrealistic. Many times we meet new people or get into new projects thinking everything with those will be perfect. The reality of this world is that people are not perfect and neither are projects. In fact we have heard this can be a huge problem in marriages too where spouses set high expectations based on what they expect their spouse to be ( or not to be ) , which can be unrealistic at some level. When meeting these expectations become exposed as unfeasible, we may want to walk away and "give up"

One problem is that these expectations can be implicit and the other party may be totally unaware of these expectations. So one step would be to make these expectations explicit so the other party knows whats expected and perhaps they can alert you on the lack of pragmatism in your expectations. Now, when these expectations are not met we should be forgiving and merciful and help the person or project in getting to our expectations i.e. not being arm-chair critics saying this is wrong and that is wrong and so on.

Last but not least, ( this should be first), the best attitude is to try to (know and) meet Allah's expectations of us in each situation and to expect the minimum from others.

Sh: Talal: The Night Journey & Ascension: Recounting the Ultimate Divine Disclosure (Razi & Risalah Foundation)

Sh Faraz: Nasiah-and stitching buttons

In this week's halaqa Sh Faraz mentioned a beautiful analogy. He said Nasiha (sincere concern/advice) in the context of people is a sensitive matter. We have to be careful how you do it. He compared it to trying to stitch a button onto a shirt someone is wearing . Our ultimate goal of stitching a button is noble but the way we do it could leave a person hurt ( our needle could pinch them, etc if we dont do it carefully).

Din adds: We may even need training from good "stichers" on how to stitch a button. We may need to to do it in a place where the person does not feel embarrassed. We may need to give them a "heads up". We need to use the right button. We need to stitch it properly so it doesn't look bad after the button is done. There may be someone else who is more suitable to stitch that button (than you), because the button or the person stitched on requires special care. And after we do it, we attribute the act of stitching the button as something Allah gave us tawfiq to do, not something "I" did because "I" am so "cool", so "good".

So in other words, we need to be careful with how we go about adivising people.