Wisdom is knowledge of the proper places for things; and adab is conformity with that knowledge.
Amazing isnt it? Before listening to this, adab to me meant being "nice". But based on this definition I think you can say that you can be nice and yet have no adab; and vice versa.
So a fake smile to someone, when you dont feel that way is not proper adab. To say what others like to hear from you, when you dont really mean it is not proper adab. To not take the proper means to achive something is not proper adab. To say the right things at the wrong place and right things at the wrong time is not proper adab. To be in prayer and not really being attentive is not proper adab. To have clutter all over the house when there are places assigned for those things is not proper adab. To be driving, changing lanes and cutting someone else off is not proper adab bcause at that moment the proper place for you was your own lane. To know that you have sinned and not make repentance is not proper adab. To promise something and not fulfil it is not proper adab. To promise that one will be at a certain place at certain time and not be there is not proper adab. To not lower your gaze when you should is not proper adab. To let others harm your next worldly interests is not proper adab....
To learn proper wisdom, knowledge and adab, you have to read about and learn from one example: The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him). May Allah grant us all proper adab.
5 comments:
salamualaykum Sidi,
On DP you mentioned you were going through some trials. Insha Allah, many are making du'a for you. May Allah bless you and grant you barakah and khayr in this world and the next, ameen. May He relieve your stresses and allow you to carry the weight of your burdens, may He grant you the strength to do this - for He is the source of strength. May He grant you the understanding of the 'arifeen in times of tribulation, that surely they are a veiled blessing and Allah is dragging you towards Him through their chains. Ameen ya Rabb.
wasalam
Allahumma Ameen to the above dua.
Anymonous1, Jazakallah Khair for your dua.
Anymonous2, Thank you for your sympathies. I am extremely disappointed with how "some people" have handled this. ......
Hammad Bhaiya, everything else you said about adab is correct as this is what our teachers teach us. However your statement "So a fake smile to someone, when you dont feel that way is not proper adab. To say what others like to hear from you, when you dont really mean it is not proper adab." isn't necessarily what our teachers teach us.
We should smile at others even when we don't mean it as a) it reduces the nafs to "fight back" and also increases our himma (strength) over the other. For example, Habib Umar (may Allah preserve him) had his finger trapped in a door accidentally by one of his students and Habib Umar throughout it all kept smiling at him and only opened the door to release his injured and bleeding finger when the students answer had been given and the student had left completely. Subhan'Allah so much we can learn from the Habaib. May Allah preserve them in His Tawfeeq.
Furthermore, when you're amongst close friends you don't need adab (etiquette) as you should be able to speak the truth amongst the closest friends. However for those that are acquaintances you are allowed to say something that's left open to interpretation if you fear that what you want to say may hurt them. Remember it's a grave error to hurt another human, esp with our words and actions. May Allah help us see this and help protect our hearts and tongues from going against good character. Ameen.
Float we are all in Good Hands.
hmmm bajee....
jazakallah khair for that Sh. Habib Umar incident. May Allah preserve the Habaib.
I am not sure. I think a smile has more value if it genuine. But I guess it all depends on the context. In some situations a smile may be the right gester, in others it may not .
Agree with your second comment, which again points to the context ( i.e. depends on who you are talking to). I full agree with that!
Also, been thinking all afternoon. I think one should never be disappointed with people and give them benefit of doubt, so I take back my previous comment! Hope is not lost as long as hope is in Allah! :)
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